A Christmas Wish
by katdvs
Summary: "Any time, any place, or anywhere you know that I'll always be there*." One choice, one decision, one wish from deep in her heart at Christmas time has led Riley to this time and place with Lucas. *This Gift, 98 Degrees
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One:**

"Three weeks and I'll join you in Texas." Riley let her fingers trace his jawline as she stared into his meadow green eyes, feeling her heart race in a way that only he was able to create in her.

Lucas looked down at her smiling, "I wish you could come now."

"I know, but I still have finals and have to finish my internship, but I will be on the first flight out as soon as they're done. Nothing is going to stop me from joining you in Texas and becoming Mrs. Lucas Friar." She felt his lips on hers knowing this was the last kiss for a while, she could feel it in her knees, her toes, the strength of his lips as his love swept through her.

"It's just three weeks; I promise I'll have the house as ready as it can be for your arrival." His fingers twisted in the ends of her hair, he was going to miss doing this the next three weeks, all these simple little moments, touches, caresses, but he understood.

She closed her eyes as she held him one last time, breathing in his woodsy masculine scent that always comforted her. "I love you, and in three weeks we're going to start our lives together in Texas and I can't wait."

"I love you to." He kissed the top of her head, "I should get through security now I'll call you when I land."

"You better because I already miss you." She slipped her fingers in with his, "But it's only three weeks, we've done three months before, this should be a breeze."

"And just think, not long after those three weeks, we'll be getting married."

"I can't wait to be married to you, we'll have at least three kids, I can already picture them running around the ranch, and we are going to have a very happy life."

He brought her hand to his lips kissing her fingers and looking down at her engagement ring, "At least you'll have this on to keep the guys from chasing after you while we're apart."

Riley giggled, "No other guys are chasing after me they know you've had my heart all this time."

"Good," he sighed, "I really do have to go."

"The sooner you go, the sooner I'll join you, I promise." She bit her lip trying to ignore the pain she felt of him leaving, "You are going to be so busy on the ranch, setting up the house, getting to know your clients, patients that you'll probably forget to pick me up at the airport."

"I could never forget to pick you up at the airport." Lucas gave her one final kiss before he slowly backed away, "Riley Emily Matthews, soon-to-be Friar, I love you."

"I love you Lucas Merlin Friar" She watched him, feeling her heart tighten as she watched him get in line for security, she waited until he was going through the body scan, after that he was as good as gone, and in a few weeks she would go through that same body scan, get on her own flight to Texas and then they would start their new life together.

* * *

 **Ten Years Later**

Riley moved down the streets of New York, dodging other pedestrians as she tapped away on her phone through emails and other messages. When her phone rang she slide her thumb over the screen, "Riley Matthews, no we can't do that, I know that the client wants it but the permits and the insurance would cost three times the budget of everything else we need for the party."

Riley slipped into the bakery, thankful that she'd missed the rush and her younger brother handed her the standard order and gave her a look informing her she had to get off the phone and talk to him. "Listen Cora I have to go, see if you can find something we can project onto the giant video screen that will satisfy them instead. I'll be in the office soon."

"You work too much" Auggie told her as he guided her to the seats in the back, "Listen Riles, I know tomorrow is the big day where you turn thirty, and you're trying to distract yourself from all of that and the fact that you're still single."

"Not all of us marry our first loves." She stiffened, trying to ignore the way her stomach dropped, the chill shooting through her body, the way it felt like her heart was being twisted.

"You could've married your first love, but you stayed in New York, why?" It had been a decade, he'd spent that time not asking, he was sure he knew the answer, but he needed her to finally say it out loud.

"Auggie, you know Lucas broke up with me, it was that flight or never, and I couldn't make that flight, so it's over." She bite the inside of her cheek, "He's like married and has kids or something like that by now. So get that silly thought out of your head. And I'm not freaking out about turning thirty."

"Ava wants to know if you're coming over for dinner tonight."

"I can't, I have work to do and plans already."

"Riles, you're getting drunk with Maya, aren't you over that?"

Riley sighed, "Auggie you make it sound far worse than it is." But she knew he was right, she wouldn't tell him that though. "I have to go, I have a meeting. I'll come over for dinner in a few days, I'll text you my schedule is just crazy right now."

Auggie rolled his eyes, "Whatever, I'll tell Mom and Dad you're off doing body shots off male strippers' bodies again, it won't faze them."

"Auggie" Riley snapped towards him, "That's not funny."

"Then grow up, stop running from" Auggie took a moment trying to stop himself from saying too much, "From whatever it is you're scared of and hiding from. You're going to be thirty tomorrow."

Riley looked down at her coffee cup, "Auggie, I love you, but let me deal with my own anxiety about this life change; you deal with the fact that your wife is pregnant."

"Fine Riley, keep being miserable, keep trying to save Maya from herself, when are you going to save yourself, when are you going to make a decision for your own happiness, not for hers?"

"I make decisions for my own happiness all the time." She told him, but the words felt as if they were the most dishonest ones she could possible speak.

Auggie sighed, his heart breaking for his older sister, "I wish you did Riley, I really wish you did. I got to get back to work. We'll talk later."

"Yeah, yeah we will." Riley clutched the coffee cup close to her as she moved towards the door, trying not to let what he said get to her more than it already was.

Once she was at work she got lost in meetings with clients and dealing with vendors when she got called into her bosses office. "What can I do for you Sheri?"

Sheri was a tall woman, former runway model who'd had the kind of connections to the wealthy and famous inner circles to become the party planner to all the most glamourous events. "Riley how long have you worked for me?"

"About nine years, why" Riley knew this conversation could go one of two ways. "Is something wrong?"

"I just got off the phone with Melanie Donald you've been working on her daughter's sweet sixteen New Year's party, right?"

Her stomach dropped, "Yes, I've been trying to find a work around to the indoor fireworks idea they had, like a projection screen or a laser show."

"They're not very bright are they?" Sheri tapped her acrylic finger nails against the glass top of her desk, "Do you have numbers yet for what the cost for either of those would be yet?"

"Not yet, I've got a call into the venue to find out which one they would even allow, or what they need to do to have an installation for either done, and what the cost would be."

Sheri nodded, "You do good work Riley, you always come up with a creative solution, I trust that you'll get this figured out, I know Melanie can be a lot to handle, but I would've have given you this party if I didn't think you couldn't do it."

"Thank you Sheri, that means the world to me."

"Good, now get out of here, I'm sure you have things to do with your night, a young man to see, be romanced by."

Riley shook her head, "No, I've been single for a while." She confessed.

Sheri looked to her, "Don't turn being alone into a badge of honor Riley don't become cold and cynical because you think it will protect you and others, you have to be open to love."

"I was, once, and I gave him up."

"And if he were to walk into this room right now can you say your heart wouldn't do flip-flops that you wouldn't feel your breath hitch?"

"My heart probably would flip-flop, my breath would hitch I would probably faint the second I laid eyes on him or heard his voice. But I made a choice, and he made his, and that led us in two very different directions. I'm here, and he's probably married with three kids by now."

"Such a shame, don't get lost in your career Riley, or whatever it was that kept you from him in the first place."

"I'll keep that in mind, goodnight Sheri." Riley left the office returning to hers and grabbing her things before heading out.

"Hey Maya," she spoke into the voicemail box as she left the lobby of the high rise office building, "I'm off to change, but I'll meet you for dinner at eight like planned, just don't start drinking without me okay."

She tossed a few dollars into charity Santa's bucket "May you get your Christmas wish" the Santa called out.

Something about it sent a chill through her body as she crossed the street and made her way to the subway station, where she just caught the train to her apartment, as she looked around getting lost in the nostalgia as she watched a young couple giggle and flirt and she couldn't help but remember the way it felt to be around Lucas.

When she got back to her apartment she changed, pulled her hair up in a fun twist and started to dig through her jewelry box to find something more fun than what she would wear to work when she pulled out the charm bracelet that Lucas had given her their sophomore year of high school, it was filled with charms he had given her on her birthday, Christmas, and their anniversary.

She felt a pang in her heart as she studied the charms, and couldn't help but wonder if he would've kept up the tradition of the charms once they married.

She wasn't sure what compelled her to do it but she put the bracelet on, watching the way the different charms dangled she couldn't help but smile. She adjusted her skirt, grabbed her jacket and purse and made her way out of the apartment. She hailed a cab and gave the driver the address of the restaurant and when she got out she gave him a nice tip since he didn't try to make small talk with her.

She studied the high rises around her, for a moment she was sure she saw a shooting star across the evening sky feeling warmth in her heart. When she turned around the horse of a mounted Police officer got spooked right in her face and she fell backwards before everything went dark.

"Riley, can you hear me?" His voice echoed in her ears as she blinked her eyes open, the pounding headache as she gasped when she looked into his eyes.

"Lucas?" she couldn't believe it, of all the people in the world who could've caught her when a police horse knocked her over it would be him.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author Note: Sorry it's been a few days since I posted the first chapter. I can't wait to hear what you all think so far.**_

* * *

 **Chapter Two:**

"Are you okay, I can't believe the horse got spooked like that, Jasmine is normally so calm." He caressed her face lovingly, "What else besides your head hurts?"

"Nothing, I don't think. You know the name of the police horse?" She still couldn't believe it was him.

Lucas looked away from her, "Calliope go and call Doc Evans, tell her your Mom got thrown from a horse and hit her head."

Panic swept through Riley's body, "Wait, I'm no one's mother." She reluctantly pulled herself from his arms taking in the surroundings, "Holy shit, what am I doing in Texas?"

"Riley," Lucas looked at her, "We try not to curse in front of the kids. Remember honey?"

Riley held her hands up as she backed away slowly from him, "I haven't seen you in like ten years I haven't been to Texas in ten years, who are these kids?"

"Calliope, is the Doctor on her way?" Lucas called out just as the young girl about nine years old came out from the house.

"She's on her way; she should be here in a few minutes. Is Mommy okay?"

Lucas looked around at her kids, "Mommy is going to be fine I think she's a little confused right now. Calliope will you take LJ and Harper into the house, get them some dinner. Let me and your Mom wait for the doctor out here."

Calliope twisted her golden brown curls around her finger, "Okay Daddy, come on let's go have some dinner." She led the other two kids into the house.

Riley was hugging herself, and only now looked down realizing she wasn't in the clothes she'd been in, "Where is my dress, what am I doing here Lucas?"

He took a cautious step towards her, "Honey, you've been in jeans all day, you wear them most days. You only really wear dresses to church and parties."

"I was on my way to meet Maya for dinner, in New York I had on a hot dress that frankly if you Mr. Friar saw me in would've dragged me up to the bedroom and had your way with me." She realized what she said, "Sorry, I mean you would've if we were still together, but we're not, we broke up a decade ago."

Sadness filled Lucas as he looked at his wife, "You must've hit your head hard honey, we've been together since freshmen year of high school, and we've been married almost ten years."

Riley shook her head, "If we're married than why don't I have a wedding ring on?" she snapped until she saw on her left hand the engagement ring that was hidden away in her sock drawer and a matching wedding band. "What the hell?"

"You hit your head, just stay calm, I'm sure Doctor Evans can explain what's going on." At least he sure hoped she'd be able to because right now nothing Riley was saying made sense and he was terrified, "And for the record it's Doctor Friar." He chuckled hoping to lighten the mood but instead he saw her just looking out at the ranch as the sunset, confused and lost.

* * *

Riley answered all the questions as best she could for Doctor Evans, an older woman who if she had to make a guess hadn't updated her hair for a good twenty years, maybe more.

"I don't see any signs of a concussion, but you know keep your eye on her Lucas." She rose from the side of the couch and walked with Lucas to the door, "She knows what year it is, she knows who the President is, I can't explain at the moment why she seems to be confused about you, and the kids. Unless it's the fear of the kids being trampled by the horse shut her brain down as a way to protect herself. You know the brain can do weird things when we're scared."

Lucas sighed, "What should I do?"

"Give her a few days, don't push but answer her questions, fill in the gaps with her, I'll drop in after a few days and see how she's doing." Doctor Evans was almost out the door when she stopped and looked back, "When you can, try and explain to the kids that she's just a little confused, their Mom not knowing who they are, tread lightly. She's their mother thought she's going to love them no matter what she just might not realize it at first."

"This sounds like a damn soap opera." Lucas muttered, "But I get what you're saying. I'll try and talk to the kids, and her. Thanks Doc."

"Try and have a good night, are you still going to do the party tomorrow?"

"Too late to really cancel, besides maybe it will help."

"Then I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Thank you again." Lucas walked her out to her truck before looking back at the house, seeing Riley in the window as she got off the couch and started looking around at the family photos. He could only wish that this was temporary, that she would remember their life together and not some crazy mess she seemed to believe she'd been living in New York.

"So am I crazy?" Riley asked him when he came back in the house she was holding one of their wedding photos.

"No" He came over to her, "Doctor Evans thinks maybe in trying to protect the kids when Jasmine got spooked that your brain created a different past to protect you from the fear of them being hurt or something like that."

"So instead of having spent the past ten years in New York I've been here in Texas married to you, but right now my brain in an effort to protect me wants me to think I'm an event planner and not a, Lucas, do I have a job?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, "You're a Mom first and foremost, than a wife, and you run the household, including the ranch hands, you run the Christmas tree farm, you're a photographer, you plan events that take place at the Christmas tree farm."

Riley rubbed her forehead with one hand while the other still held the framed photo, "That was a lot of information at once." She sat back on the couch and looked up at him, "Okay you and I have been married for how long?"

Lucas smiled as he took the picture from her, "Ten years this Christmas."

"And all three of those kids are ours?" He sat on the coffee table and took her left hand in his as his thumb caressed her ring finger, "Calliope is nine, she's our oldest, very responsible, your shadow whenever possible. You need an extra hand out with the horses; she's with you, if you need someone"

"Nine, so we had her not long after we got married then, right?"

"You were pregnant when we got married you, just um didn't know it." He looked up, "Then we have LJ, Lucas-Joseph he's seven, big on animals, baseball, and trucks. He likes to go on calls with me when he can."

"You're a veterinarian now, and the ranch, and a Christmas tree farm?"

"I know it sounds like a lot, and it maybe is, but this is our life."

"And the third child" Riley looked down at their hands, trying to ignore the sensations it was sending through her.

"Harper" He smiled, "Daddy's girl, but she adores you don't worry about that. She's five; she'll shadow whichever sibling will allow her at the moment."

"We stopped at three then?" hadn't they always talked about having as many kids as possible, had reality come crashing down on them about how much work raising children was.

Lucas smirked, "We decided to wait until they're older before we attempt more kids."

"Okay, so let me go over this again, you're a veterinarian, I'm apparently in charge of everything else, we have three kids, Calliope, LJ, and Harper, we've been married almost ten years, right?"

"Yes, I promise you, I help with the ranch and the Christmas tree farm and of course the kids, but you're the boss." He kissed her hand, feeling her react as she had early on in their relationship surprised gasp.

Riley bit her lower lip and pulled her hand away from his before standing up, "Okay, um you keep mentioning a Christmas tree farm, how did that happen?"

Lucas ran his hands over his jeans and sighed, "Um that is story that I will tell you after I put the kids to bed."

Riley watched him for a moment as he went to the stairs, "Do you need or want help?"

"Not tonight princess, go through the albums, the home movies, maybe they'll trigger something." He looked to her hopeful, "We have a good life Riley, I know we do and I know you'll remember."

"I hope I do, because it does sound wonderful." She picked up an album and began to flip through the pages at captured moments she couldn't remember.

* * *

"Okay guys, we have to talk." Lucas gathered the children in Calliope's room, "Mommy is okay, but she's a little confused right now."

"Confused how?" LJ looked at his father, his green eyes full of worry.

"She um, well her brain is trying to protect her from being scared after what happened with Jasmine in the yard, and so she might not remember how you like your sandwiches, or what your favorite shows are, or stuff like that." Lucas had no idea if he was explaining this well.

"Does Mommy remember us?" Calliope held Harper's hand as they sat on her bed.

"She knows you guys, but the details are hiding right now. She loves you three so very much, but you know the way Jasmine got spooked earlier, I think part of her was very afraid that you would get hurt, and so while she heals, her brain is keeping her from feeling that worry."

"Daddy that makes no sense" Calliope insisted.

"Not everything in this world always makes sense Calliope, in a few days, I'm sure she'll be back to normal, just give her time."

"Daddy" Harper got off the bed and moved to sit in his lap, "Mommy will be okay, don't worry."

He closed his eyes as he felt his youngest daughter hold onto him, "She will, I promise you all, and tomorrow we're still having her birthday party, and Grandma, Grandpa, Birdie, Pappy, Uncle Farkle and Uncle Zay will all be here."

* * *

While Lucas was upstairs with the children, _their_ children she started going through the photo albums. Pictures, moments she couldn't recall, but yet she was in some of the pictures.

Their wedding album, a collection of black and white photos she was sure her Uncle Shawn had taken. The ceremony had been outside, she wore a short sleeve gown, Zay was standing up with Lucas and Riley couldn't help but noticed that Farkle—not Maya. On the last page was a picture of her and Lucas with a shovel digging into the earth with a small sapling of a pine tree in front of them.

She went through another album, pictures of Calliope as a baby, and young child. Riley couldn't help but let her fingers run over one picture and wonder how she could forget her own children. She moved through an album for LJ and one for Harper.

This life looked beautiful, it looked like every dream she had at night and never told another living soul.

If it was her life then how did she not remember it? How could she ever not remember her child's name, their first birthday party, first steps, and first words?

How could she not remember marrying Lucas, the only man she had ever loved?

* * *

Lucas found Riley sitting on the couch crying as hugged a pillow to herself "Riles, honey, calm down" he cupped her face gently, "it's going to be okay, I wish I knew the right words to say to you so you would believe me, but it will be."

She put her hand on the photo albums, "This life, it looks like it's a beautiful one. One I should remember instead of a decade in New York."

"It is a beautiful life Riley," he bit her lower lip as he looked into her eyes wiping away the tears she was crying, "And you will see it, you'll remember it, you will remember us, and our kids."

"Those poor kids, I can't imagine how scared they are right now." She looked towards the stairs, "Three kids, I could see them so clearly in my mind the last time I saw you when we said goodbye at the airport."

"Riley" Lucas started, but she stopped him.

"That's the last time I remember seeing you before this evening." She reminded him. "You need to know what I think the last ten years have been."

He stayed silent, not sure he was ready for this. "Go on."

She sniffed and took a moment, "Well, I didn't come to Texas, we didn't get married. We had a fight right before my birthday."

"What did we fight about?"

"Maya was upset because Uncle Josh got engaged, and I didn't want to leave her right away. You told me if I wasn't on that flight that I shouldn't come at all, so I didn't."

"I remember that fight, but you got on the plane, you picked me, _us_ over Maya."

Riley shook her head, "Right now, my brain, my memories are telling me I picked her over you, over us."

Lucas pulled away, "In this other life, if you didn't marry me, who did you marry?"

She watched as he moved to the window, looking out into the darkness at the ranch, "No one" slowly she got up from the couch, "I'm not married, I work planning parties and events."

"You do that here" he reminded her.

"And I go out to clubs with Maya."

Lucas closed his eyes, "Riley are you saying in this other world you remember that you've been with other men?"

"Actually no" she looked down at her hands at the wedding band, "The last and only man I've ever been with is you, the morning you left for Texas was the last time we were together."

He tried not to, but he couldn't help but smirk, "So I ruined you for all other men?"

She playfully smacked his arm, "You would think that."

He wrapped his arm around her, "I promise you Riley this is real."

She breathed in his scent, "You smell almost the same as I remember."

"I'm glad you remember something." He confessed.

"The Christmas Tree Farm, you told me you would explain that after the kids were in bed." She felt him tense up. "Lucas what is it?"

"When you came down from New York, Pappy Joe was really sick. You showed up a day early with a Christmas tree, insisting that we make sure he had the perfect Christmas." Lucas took a moment, "When he told us that the only thing he wanted was to see our wedding, you insisted we move it up to Christmas day."

She didn't speak as she wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"And um you found this rolled up set of plans in a closet when we were looking for extra Christmas stuff, it was something Pappy Joe and Mama Betty had talked about early on, but never got to." He looked down at his wife, "and when you and I got married we didn't do the sand ceremony or the knots, or candles, instead we went down to a spot on the property that wasn't being used for much, and planted a tree. The first tree of the Friar Family Christmas Tree Farm, I've just been really thankful that Pappy Joe got to see it."

"Oh Lucas" Riley hugged him close feeling the way his body shook with raw emotions for a moment.

"I'll never forget that the morning you found out you were pregnant." Lucas held her close, "Pappy Joe got to know we were going to have a child, and we lost him that night."

She felt him shake with a sob as she held him tightly, "Oh honey, I am so sorry."

He tried to take a moment to compose himself and pulled away.

"Don't you dare do that Lucas Friar" she warned as she pulled him to her, "Don't try and be strong right now."

He held onto her, letting himself cry for a moment, "I miss him."

"I know" Riley couldn't believe she was standing here, comforting Lucas, or at least attempting to, "tell me something happy Lucas."

"You insisted we start the farm." He wiped his eyes as he studied her, trying to understand the difference in the way she stood, "You did all the research for it, what trees we should grow, how long it would take, what kind of events we could do. You are amazing, and you made this come true for him, and Mama Betty, and for us."

Riley caressed his face, but couldn't find words she knew would make him feel better.

"And you don't remember it."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you will." He gave her a soft smile, "Its late, you probably want to get some sleep. You can um have the bedroom, I can bunk down here."

"No" Riley covered his hand with hers, "I um I mean, just that um the kids, if they saw that maybe they um might think things are worse than they are."

"So for the kids we'll still share a bed?"

She nodded, "Yeah, they're upset enough I think anything that would set them off that we can avoid, we should avoid, right?"

"As long as you're comfortable with that I mean we've shared a bed almost every night for the past decade, the only nights we weren't in the same bed was the ones when our children were born. Right now you think we haven't shared one for that long, I want you to be comfortable." His fingers traced the edge of her hair, twisting the soft natural curl around his finger.

Part of her wanted to tell him that she still pulled a pillow against her body to feel like he was next to her, but she didn't. "So um, the bedroom is where?"

"Upstairs, come with me." He took her hand gently leading her up the stairs slowly watching as she took in the different photographs of their life together that hung on the walls. "So this is it."

Riley looked at the simple wooden door, "I'm oddly nervous."

"Please don't be." He pushed it open; the room wasn't large, but big enough to have an extra reading chair by the window, and space in front of a fireplace before reaching the foot of the bed.

Riley's mouth hung open, "This whole house is like a Pinterest perfect dream."

Lucas was pulling out their pajamas from the dresser, "Well you did tell me what you wanted and I did my best to give it to you when I could."

Riley sighed as she sat down on the right side of the bed, "And now I remember nothing."

Lucas chuckled, "You can't even remember which side of the bed is yours."

"Are you serious?" as she accepted the pair of pajamas he handed her as she stood up.

"Well, you like the side with the window, helps to have the sun wake you up since we get up so early."

"How early is early, like seven?"

"I guess you're going to find out." He moved towards a door, "Our bathroom is in here if you want to change, you know for privacy."

"Thanks" She held the pajamas close to her body before going into the bathroom.

"The purple toothbrush is yours," he called from the other side of the door, "Its new toothbrush day, so um yeah."

Riley smirked, "We have a new toothbrush day?"

"You are super organized, but you're also like wonder woman getting everything done." Lucas told her as he quickly pulled off his clothes and pulled on his pajama pants.

Riley opened the bathroom door, gasping when she saw him shirtless. "Holy Mother of God" her eyes took it all in, he'd always been muscular, strong and defined, but this in front of her now was a new level.

He looked at her, "Riley, you okay?"

She straighten herself up and looked him in the eyes, "You grew up very nicely Lucas." Part of her just wanted to trace the outlines, feel the texture of his chest hair against her finger tips, but no that would be wrong, wouldn't it?

"I could get used to that if I had to." He smirked as he let his eyes drift over her in the t-shirt and fleece pants she was wearing.

"Get used to what?" She moved over to the sink and picked up the purple toothbrush and started to apply the toothpaste.

He watched her in the mirror, "That desperately hungry look you got just now. You haven't looked at me that way in a very long time."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm not saying that you and I don't make love anymore, we do." He pulled a t-shirt on and moved into the bathroom picking up the blue toothbrush, "But not the way you did, like if you touched me one of us might combust."

Riley continued to brush her teeth, afraid to say anything, but she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. She could feel his eyes on her and after she spit and gargled she looked to him, "Well you don't look at me like the hungry wolf that you once were."

"Keyword were" Lucas finished up with his gargle and followed her into the bedroom, "I'm a very satisfied man Riley, besides we very rarely go long stretches that would lead me to being a starving wolf."

Riley stood in the doorway watching him in the mirror this time, "How often do we, you know?"

"Saturday mornings usually in the shower, only place the kids won't disturb up." He confessed as he came over to her, "Tuesday nights you tend to get particularly frisky, so usually then."

She bit her lip as she took what he said into consideration, "It's not fireside with strawberries and cream, or a spontaneous moment where you come up to me in the kitchen and the sun is just right and you have to have me right then, it sounds so planned."

"I would like very much to spend hours making love to you." He followed her to the bed, watching her, "But we can't just vanish for that long leaving the kids alone, or our other responsibilities."

"I'm probably too exhausted from doing everything I do to even think about that." Her words came out harsher than she intended and she could see the pained expression cross his face. "Lucas, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," He pulled back the bed sheets, "We work hard Riley, we do it because we love it, and we do it for the kids."

Riley positioned herself in bed on her back for a moment before rolling onto her side, "Maybe tomorrow when we wake up I'll remember, and none of this is going to matter."

"It would be nice," Lucas sighed as he looked to her, part of him so tempted to reach out and touch her, to kiss her, make her feel something, anything, to make this okay, make her remember.

Riley looked to him, "The years have been good to you Lucas, I mean that."

"They've been good to you as well Riley." He watched as she twisted the bed sheet around her finger "What is it?"

"Um, this might sound weird, it probably is, but do you think you could maybe hold me until I fall asleep?"

"Like this" he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

"Exactly, I've missed this."

"I hold you this way every single night Riley." Naturally, without thought he kissed the top of her head.

Riley felt the pulse of energy throughout her entire body, mixing from the security she felt of his arms around her, "Then I am a very lucky woman."

"Get some sleep, tomorrow is a big day, your birthday."

Riley scoffed, "The big three-oh, huh?"

"Yeah, the kids picked out a tree weeks ago, we got to run down to the farm and chop it down, bring it back up here, get ready for all our guests."

"Guests, we're having guests?" She felt a panic rising inside of her, she couldn't people right now.

"It's okay, it's a few family friends, my parents, your parents, Farkle and Zay. They come down every year for your birthday."

"No Maya."

"No, sorry, get some sleep, you need to rest."

Riley didn't say anything, wondering that if she woke up this entire crazy dream would be over and she'd be back in her bed in New York.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author Note: Thank you so much for the kind reviews, messages, you've sent in so far. It really does mean the world to me. I'm really glad that you guys get the Hallmark/Lifetime vibe from this because that's what I was trying to go for with this one. I hope you continue to read and enjoy it.**_

* * *

 **Chapter Three:**

The only light in the room was from the bunny night light that sat on top of the dresser, and what moonlight came in through the curtains as Harper lay in bed hugging her stuffed bear. She had fallen asleep hours ago when her Daddy put her to bed, but she had a bad dream that had woken her up.

She slipped out of bed, dragging her bear with her as she moved across the room to her door, opening it, finding only the light of the nightlights showing her the way to her parents' bedroom. Outside the door Harper hesitated for only a moment before opening it and slipping inside.

Harper could see her Daddy holding her Mommy as they slept, just as she always found them as she went around to the side of her bed to gently shake her Mommy awake.

"Mommy" her voice hushed but desperate.

Riley opened her eyes, "Harper, baby what's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream Mommy."

Without thinking about it Riley threw back the sheets, "come on up Sugar Pop."

Harper smiled when she heard her special nickname, Daddy was right she knew them. She got up in the bed and felt her mommy's arms around her as the blankets got pulled back.

"It was just a dream, Sugar Pop." Riley rubbed her back as she spoke softly.

Harper cuddled close to her Mommy and fell asleep.

Riley closed her eyes, falling back asleep.

* * *

Lucas woke to find Riley in his arms as she held Harper sleeping beside her, he watched them for a moment, feeling that swell in his heart that came every time he saw his wife with their children.

Gently and slowly he moved his arms and got out of bed before going to the other side, "Harper, baby girl," he spoke softly trying not to wake up Riley as well.

Harper opened her eyes, a slight glare at her father before she went back to snuggling close to her mom.

Lucas couldn't hold back the soft chuckled, "Come help me make Mommy breakfast okay?"

Harper opened her eyes again, nodding before putting her arms around his neck and as he lifted her from the bed.

He carried her out of the room, looking back once more at Riley, hoping her memory would be back. "When did you get into bed with us?" He questioned Harper as he slowly moved down the stairs.

"After I had a bad dream" She held onto him tightly, "Mommy called me Sugar Pop when she let me into bed."

Lucas felt his breath hitch, "She did?"

"Yup" Harper squiggled out as they reached the kitchen.

"That's good Sweetheart." Lucas kissed the top of her head as he placed her down and then started to gather what he needed for breakfast.

Harper followed Lucas around the kitchen for a few moments as he cooked, "Daddy should I get Cal and LJ?"

"Yeah, go get them up, but be nice about waking them up okay?" He warned.

"Okay Daddy."

Lucas watched as his youngest daughter go up the stairs, he could hear her footsteps as she moved to LJ's room, and he knew in a couple of minutes all three kids would be down here so he tried to plate up the breakfast on the tray as he heard the three sets of feet padding down the stairs.

"Is Mommy better?" Calliope looked to her father with worried eyes.

"Mommy is still asleep, we're going to wake her up, surprise her with breakfast, and you guys can give her your presents." He explained.

"So we don't know if she's better?"

Lucas sighed, "Guys, it might be a rocky few days okay, but Mommy is going to be okay, I know she will." He had to believe she would be, he didn't want to think about what could happen if she wasn't. "We are going to be positive, because we're Friars and that's what we do, we find the positives."

The kids nodded, only Harper smiling, "She's still Mommy." She looked to her older siblings, "She's still our Mommy."

"Harper is right, now you guys all have your presents you made?"

"Yes Daddy." LJ held up his package beaming.

"Great, let's go wake up your Mommy."

* * *

Riley wasn't ready to open her eyes, the bed was warmer than she was used to and she couldn't pinpoint why exactly, but she was going to enjoy it.

"Shh, don't wake her yet" a small voice ordered.

"Let me carry that" another protested.

"I want to do it" the smallest cried.

"Guys, you all have something to carry." Lucas' voice reprimanded.

Riley was frozen, it hadn't been a dream. It was real, she was in Texas, and she'd spent the night in Lucas' arms.

"We have to wake her gently Mommy doesn't like to be woken up early." One of the small voices reminded the others.

"You'll be fine LJ, just go in slowly, I'm right behind you guys."

Riley could hear the smile in Lucas' voice and she felt her heart leap. She braced herself for what was to come before feeling the mattress start to bounce around her.

"You do it Calliope" Harper insisted.

"Mommy, Mommy, wake up." Calliope gently tried to shake Riley's body.

When she didn't come out from under the blankets the bed started to bounce more. "Happy birthday Mommy, wake up!" The three voices started chanting out of sync.

"Yeah Mommy, get up they have surprises for you." Lucas' voice caused her to finally peek out from under the blankets, those perfect meadow green eyes looking at her, that perfect smile, her heart flipping and flopping.

Riley slowly sat up, looking at the three children in front of her, their light brown hair, sun-kissed natural blond highlights, LJ had eyes as green as Lucas', while both Calliope and Harper had gotten her brown eyes. She couldn't speak as she looked at them, this all still felt too perfect to be real. She felt her heart wrap in warmth as she looked at them, smiling.

"Happy Birthday to you" they began to sing and she was speechless as she watched them.

"Thank you guys," She pulled them in for a hug, "You are the best kids a Mom could ever hope for."

"We've got breakfast for you Mommy, Daddy made it special." Harper announced.

"This is all so sweet." She couldn't help but notice how right this all felt, how normal it seemed.

"Open mine first." Calliope thrust a package at her.

"Thank you Calliope" she could feel all their eyes on her as she opened the paper and took out a simple braided bracelet with three handmade charms.

"One for each of us" Calliope announced as Riley studied the charms.

"It's beautiful, I love it."

"Mine now Mommy!" LJ practically jumped into her lap handed her a package.

"Hmm, I wonder what this is" She looked at the newspaper wrapped package before opening it to reveal a handprint in clay painted purple with his name engraved _Lucas Joseph Friar_. "It's beautiful, I love it LJ."

He hugged her tightly, "Love you Mommy."

Riley could feel her heart swell realizing how much she longed to hear those words from a child.

"Now me" Harper looked up her eyes wide as she handed Riley a package.

Riley studied the well wrapped parcel, "Did you wrap this all by yourself?"

"Daddy helped me." She smiled shyly.

"Only with the wrapping" Lucas insisted as she snuggled into his lap.

"But of course" Riley undid the wrapping and pulled out a popsicle stick frame with a picture of her and the youngest girl under a large pine tree. "I love it; I love all of them you really are the best kids."

She felt them all hugging her and she couldn't believe how good it felt.

"Okay guys, let's eat and then you have to clean your rooms before Uncle Farkle and Uncle Zay get here this afternoon."

"Do we have to Daddy" Harper fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"Yes Harper you do." He kissed the top of her head while they picked at the breakfast he'd made before sending them off to their rooms leaving him and Riley alone.

"They're so beautiful and precious."

"You know Harper crawled into bed with you this morning." Lucas moved closer, "She says you called her by her special nickname."

"I did, I don't remember that, I don't remember what I should." She confessed.

"You will, you do." He cupped her face in his hands, "I know it's still in you honey, whatever you got scared of babe, you'll relax, calm down, and it'll be back to you. I saw the way you looked at them, you love them."

"I do" and she meant it, "How could I not, they're our children."

"Yes, they are our children." His eyes sparkled when he said that as he studied her brown eyes.

"I love you" the words came spilling out of her, "I do, always even in the other world my brain thinks I've been in, I loved you, and only you."

Lucas smiled pushing her messy hair away from her eyes, "And I love you Riley, I bet in the other world I do to."

"I certainly hope you can, but I fear in that one you probably don't like me very much."

Lucas pulled her close to him, "Honey, I think I would probably be hurt, and I would probably throw myself into my work, but you would _always_ have my heart."

Riley rested her forehead against his, trying to control her breathing, trying to ignore the electric sensations he stirred in her.

Lucas wondered would it be wrong to kiss her right now, would it be taking advantage of her.

Riley pulled away, trying to ignore the pull to kiss him, "I'm going to shower."

Lucas smirked, "Alone?"

She could feel her heart race, "I don't know Lucas it's been a decade."

Lucas closed his eyes, "Riley," his fingers feathered down her cheek and neck watching the way her eyelashes fluttered at his touch, "What are you scared of?"

She pulled away from his touch, "You are used to something, you know what to expect if I were touch you, but, um, right now, you haven't touched me in ten years Lucas, I don't know if um, I'm prepared for that."

He picked up her hand, "We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

"Thank you" She looked down at their hands, how did they fit together so well, how could she have left this go, let him go? Her eyes drifted up to his and she felt the pull, the magnetic moment she remembered feeling on the subway all those years ago before kissing him, as it drew her in once more to feel his lips against hers just as she had longed for.

Lucas would be lying if he said he didn't feel a difference in the kiss, he could feel her perceived pent up desire, hunger as her fingers raked through his hair, and he pulled her against him, feeling her legs wrap around his torso as they deepened the kiss.

"Riley" He breathed she started to kiss along his jawline, "Babe if we don't stop, I'm not sure I'll be able to."

She looked into his eyes, trying to decide if she wanted to stop, knowing she didn't as she un-wrapped her legs from around him before she pulled his hand in hers, "Shower with me."

Lucas looked into his wife's eyes, "Are you sure?"

Riley nodded, "Maybe when you touch me, I'll remember something, it's worth a shot right?" the playful smirk crossing her lips.

Lucas lifted her in his arms, before carrying her into the bathroom. "Are you sure?"

Riley nodded as he put her on her feet, "Yeah Lucas, it feels right; everything about this feels right so far, even if I don't remember it."

"Okay then" Lucas turned the shower on, setting the water to the preferred temperature before pulling his t-shirt off.

Riley couldn't hold back this time, her fingers traced his chest, feeling the hardness of his muscles with the texture his chest hair. She was sure she might just pass out the way her senses seemed to be in overload.

Lucas opened the shower door after he slipped out of his pajamas, stepping in and then turning to Riley, "You coming in?"

She nodded before stripping down and joining him, feeling him take her in his arms under the spray of the rainfall shower head. She closed her eyes, lost in the daze of passion as his hands ran down her body, kissing him, touching him, relishing in finally satisfying a decades long craving.

Lucas pulled away to look at her, make sure she was okay when he saw her smile and giggle, "What?"

"The hungry wolf look, you have it right now." She felt her back against the shower wall as his hand pushed she thighs apart.

"Daddy, Daddy!" Calliope yelled from the other side of the door.

"Shit" Lucas cursed, "What is it?"

"Mr. Henry is on the phone, he wants you to come check on one of his horses." She explained.

"Go" Riley looked to him, "Later, we'll find another time for this, for us later." Part of her was relieved, part of her desperate to keep going.

Lucas sighed as he stepped out of the shower, grabbing his robe before going into the bedroom.

Riley stayed under the water, crying once she was alone as she tried to wrap her mind around everything she was feeling, emotionally and physically.

* * *

Riley wrapped her robe around her body tightly, trying to figure out what she should wear. Lucas had told her that dresses were mainly for parties and church, how often did they go to church?

She pulled out a cocktail dress studying it, figuring it had to be what she planned to wear tonight for the part.

"You look so pretty in that dress." Calliope had come in the room when Riley wasn't paying attention.

"Thank you" Riley turned to her, "What do I normally wear every day, what do we do?"

"Mommy" Calliope wondered if this was what her Daddy had meant, "We're getting the tree when Daddy gets back, so for now your regular clothes."

"Like this?" Riley held up a long sleeve shirt that had _Friar Family Christmas Tree Farm_ printed on it and a pair of jeans.

"And this" Calliope picked up a black fleece vest and handed it to her.

Riley nodded, "Okay, yeah, thank you Calliope."

"Mommy, do you really not remember us?"

Riley sat down on the bed, "Things are fuzzy in my memory right now, wires crossed. I might not remember details, but I love you, your brother, and your sister, and of course your Daddy."

Calliope studied her, "Something is different about you, I mean besides the cursing."

"Sorry about that Muse."

Calliope smiled, "You do know us."

"What do you mean?"

"You called me Muse, you only call me that." Calliope smiled, "Daddy will be home soon, we'll have to go get the tree before Uncle Farkle and Uncle Zay get here, and before everyone else for the party."

"You like your Uncles?"

"They're pretty cool, we like Uncle Auggie to."

Riley nodded, "Okay so I'll get dressed, are you kids all dressed?"

"Yes, though Harper wants to do her own hair."

"I'll be out in just a couple of minute's okay sweetie."

Calliope smiled, "Okay Mommy, I'll go find your binder."

"Binder?"

Calliope said nothing and left the room. Riley quickly got dressed, stopping for a moment to look in the mirror, "You can do this Riley, this is your life why else would it feel so right?" She grabbed the breakfast stuff that had been left on the bed and went downstairs, really taking in the home, a bay window in the living room next to the large fireplace, French doors that went out to the porch, the kitchen was open with a large island.

"Here it is Mommy; it's got everything so if something is fuzzy it's probably in here."

Riley accepted the binder and started to look through it, "Wow, I am crazy organized in this world to."

"You have to be." Lucas came in through the kitchen door, "These three, the farm, ranch, keep us both busy."

Riley looked up, seeing Lucas in a pair of jeans, a blue V-neck t-shirt that had the same print as the one she was wearing only white paint, and a flannel over it. He went to wash his hands and started loading the dishwasher, "Right of course."

"Harper, where are your shoes?"

"On my feet" she looked up to her Daddy before stomping her feet on the ground.

"No stomping." Lucas tried not to smirk at his youngest child, "Guys grab your jackets, we've got a tree to go get and we're running behind."

"Come on Harp let's go." Calliope started dragging her sister to the door where LJ was already putting on his jacket.

"Hey Ri, I know this is a lot, but if it gets to be too much, tell me okay? You did get hurt last night."

Riley cupped his face with her hands, "Physically I feel fine, I might be a bit frisky this evening, especially after a cocktail or two."

Lucas bit his lip, "Well if that's the case I might have to sneak you off to the barn."

"I remember the barn; I remember that wasn't so comfortable."

"I guess we'll just have to find out," he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck, "But right now the kids are probably in the truck already."

"Let's go then." She followed him out of the house, really taking in the view, "Wow, it's even more beautiful than I remembered."

"It's almost charming along with being heartbreaking" Lucas confessed, "the way you're seeing everything for the first time in a long time."

"I'm sorry, I wish I remembered."

"I know you do," Lucas stopped on the step and looked to her, "In your New York memories, you still hang out with Zay and Farkle, right?"

"Yeah, I mean they're married so they don't go out with Maya and me very often, usually special occasions, why?"

"Oh just wondering." He led her down the steps and then helped her up into the truck.

* * *

"Mommy look how big your and Daddy's tree is!" Calliope grabbed her hand and dragged her over to the tree when they got out of the truck.

Riley almost tripped several times trying to keep up with the young girl, still taking it all in before she saw the little hand carved plaque, _Lucas and Riley Friar, Christmas Day_.

Her heart was in her throat, tears burning her eyes, this wasn't fair, she shouldn't be here, she shouldn't be seeing any of this, it wasn't her life, this wasn't her tree, Lucas wasn't her husband, and these kids they couldn't be hers.

She dropped Calliope's hand and started walking away, feeling as if everything was closing in on her when Lucas stopped her.

"Babe, look at me." He pleaded to her.

Riley looked up, her eyes glossed with tears, "I should remember this, all of this."

"You will, calm down, just take a deep breath," He smiled as she followed his directions, "Smell that, those are our trees that is our life, that fresh, clean scent, it's our past, our present, and our future."

"I'm just, frustrated, scared, and confused."

"It's going to come back; I know you used your special nickname for Harper this morning."

"Do I call Calliope, Muse?"

Lucas smiled, "You do, and you'll call LJ by his when the moment is right. See you know things, it'll come back."

Riley nodded, "Wait where are the kids?"

"With Dylan cutting the tree down, we'll load it in the truck and be back up at the house just time for the guys to arrive."

"Okay, I think." She ran her hand through her hair, "Lucas, just don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Take it moment by moment." He guided her through the tree farm to where the kids and Dylan were loading the tree into the truck, "Thanks Dylan."

"No problem Lucas, is the Boss okay?"

"Got thrown when Jasmine got spooked last night, she's a little confused, should be okay in a few days." Lucas explained, "We'll see you tonight still though."

"Have a good afternoon, feel better Boss!"

"How come you're Lucas, and I'm Boss?" Riley questioned as he opened the passenger door for her.

"Because like I said last night, you're the boss, you're in charge. Don't worry, it's in the binder."

A soft smile crossed her lips before she kissed his cheek, catching the sound of his breath hitching when she did so. "That's good to know."

"About the binder?"

"No, that you still react to me the way you did when we were younger."

"That's powerful information to know."

"We need to get this tree to the house before the kid's combust." She could see them wiggling in the rearview mirror.

Lucas nodded as she buckled in and he closed the door, when they got back up to the house he could see the familiar black SUV waiting for them.

"Yay Uncle Farkle and Uncle Zay are here!" LJ was practically bouncing in his seat between his sisters.

"Calm down All-Star," Riley warned and she saw Lucas smile as he parked the car. "Don't rush them okay."

"Yes Mommy." All three of the kids spoke in unison.

Riley and Lucas both got out of the car and opened the back doors for the kids who raced up the stairs to greet Farkle and Zay.

"Are they dressed a like?" Riley studied them both in skinny jeans, black designer sports coats.

"At least it's not matching ugly Christmas sweaters like last year." Lucas opened the tailgate of the bed of the truck and pulled out the tree.

"Riley" Farkle sang as he came over to hug her, "You look good."

"Aww thanks Farkle," she hugged him, "Hey why didn't you bring Smackle with you?"

Farkle chuckled, "That would be awkward why would I bring my ex-girlfriend down? She and I haven't spoken in years."

"No you and Smackle are married you have been for like seven years, I was the maid of honor in your wedding." Riley looked to Lucas to confirm who shook his head no, "That's one of those weird New York things?"

"Weird New York things" Farkle looked to Lucas, "Am I missing something?"

"Riley hit her head yesterday, thinks she spent the last ten years in New York getting drunk with Maya and being a, what was your job sweetie?"

"Event planner; for the best firm in the city, thank you very much." She straightened up, "So if you're not married to Smackle, who are you married to?"

Farkle watched as she lifted his left hand, he was about to answer when Zay came up behind him and kissed his cheek, "Hey Honey" Zay looked over to Riley and Lucas, "What is up my favorite tree farmers."

Riley was silent as her mouth hung open and her eyes traced from Farkle and to Zay several times. She kept trying to speak, and finally Lucas burst out laughing.

"Ri, Farkle and Zay have been together about nine years, we stood up for them at their wedding just as they did for us."

Riley was still quiet, "Wow, so you two, huh, oddly, huh, I wonder."

"Why is Cotton Candy Face acting like this is brand new information."

"Because it is" Lucas leaned the tree against the truck, "She hit her head yesterday, kind of doesn't really remember the last ten years."

"Let me guess she was a career girl in the city, but lonely and miserable, right?" Zay studied her, "Then suddenly she's here, and it's like a whole other life."

"Exactly, how did you know Zay?" Finally someone understood, Riley suddenly felt better.

"I think I saw a movie like this on Hallmark, or Lifetime, maybe both."

"I'm glad you all think this is a joke, something that is just going to fix itself, but this is reality, I don't remember the last ten years the way I've been told they happened, I'm sorry." She started to storm up the steps.

"Riley Emily Friar" Lucas called out to her as he chased after her stopping her as his hands took her by the upper arms, "I'm sorry, I know this isn't easy for you, but Princess, you know stuff. You just don't realize it; I just assumed that in your memories, Farkle and Zay were together."

"Nope" She leaned against him, "Auggie and Ava are married right?"

"Yes, they are."

"My Uncle Josh is married to that lovely girl Holly, right?"

"Yes."

"And—."

"I don't know, maybe Farkle or Zay know."

"How much longer until other people get here?"

"Our parents will be here around six, other guests around seven, the caterers will be here about four though."

"Okay, um," She closed her eyes, "I think I'm going to go for a walk, I think I just need a little time alone to process everything"

"At least take one of the guys with you."

"You're sweet to worry."

"I will worry about you every day until I take my last breath, same with the kids."

"I love you." She breathed as she pulled away and moved back down the steps, "Farkle, join me for a little walk."

Farkle looked to Lucas who nodded, "Yeah sure Riles."

"We won't be long." Riley called out as the started down the path towards the barn.

"So," Farkle started after several minutes of silence, "How did you hit your head?"

Riley sighed, "What I remember is I was on my way to meet Maya for dinner and a Police Horse got spooked by something, next thing I knew I opened my eyes and I was here in Texas in Lucas' arms. A set of arms I hadn't been in, in a decade. Oh and guess what I'm married and we've got three kids."

"I mean you and Lucas are together in your other set of memories right?" Farkle was trying to follow along.

Riley shook her head, "No, we're not. I didn't join him in Texas; I stayed in New York because Maya asked me to."

"Oh, Maya" Farkle sighed as they kept walking, "You guys haven't spoken since you came down here to be with Lucas."

"Really, in ten years we've never spoken?"

"Well," Farkle ran a hand through his hair, "When you were pregnant with Calliope, Maya ended up in the hospital, and you and Lucas came up to the city."

Riley had questions but she waited, letting him continue.

"And when you went to visit her, talk with her, she was really mean to you, to Lucas, and about Calliope."

"What did she say?"

"Riley, I don't think you really need to hear this."

"I do Farkle, I need to hear this."

He braced himself, "She said you didn't care about her, you only cared about yourself, that you were the worst best friend on the planet, and you were going to be a terrible mother."

Riley sat down on the ground, "Wow, I think it really is best that she and I haven't spoken, because I did, I do care about her, and I am not the worst best friend on the planet, and I a fucking fantastic mother. I take care of those kids' day in and day out, they are my world. I smile when I hear Calliope sing whatever song she learned in music class, and when LJ brings in these little animals he wants to save so he can be like his Dad and Harper when she pulls on my apron while I'm making dinner because she wants to help mix something."

Farkle smiled, "It's still in their Riley, its coming through."

A smile broke out on her face, "It is it really is."

Farkle helped her to her feet, "Come on let's go back up to the house."

"Is there anything I should know?"

He hesitated for a second, "No, nothing at all."

"Great, let's get back to our husbands." Riley took a few steps and turned to him, "you coming?"

"Yeah, I'm right behind you." He followed, hoping she didn't ask him again.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author Note: Okay, yay we're back with the fourth chapter, I think we're back on track…I guess my own brain got a little foggy as I tried to write this one, oh well. I really do appreciate any and all comments, reviews, reblogs, etc that you guys send me they really do mean the world.**_

* * *

 **Chapter Four:**

Riley ran up the steps and into the house, only stopping when she saw Lucas, Zay, and the kids putting the lights up on the tree. "Lucas, your right, my memories are going to come back, they're just below the surface, but I know they'll be back."

He smiled to her, "I told you they would, just don't force it and they'll just come when they're ready to."

She smiled, "This is real, it's a dream come true." She took his hand as pulled him to his feet watching the way his eyes trailed over her, "You are my dream come true, the kids are my dream come true, never forget that."

"I never could." He followed her, not exactly sure where she was leading him.

"Good" She looked around, "Okay, so lunch, the kids probably need to eat Strawberry jelly for Calliope, Grape for LJ and Harper right?"

Lucas nodded, "Yup that is exactly right."

Riley gave him a quick kiss, "I've got this, no need to worry."

"I wasn't worried," he insisted, and he hadn't been, not about this, not really. "I'll go keep the kids distracted for a bit with decorating and arranging the living room."

"Thank you" Riley leaned against the island of the kitchen, "You're the best."

Lucas smiled a slight blush forming on his lips before he went to help the kids, Zay and Farkle in the other room.

* * *

The afternoon moved quickly after lunch and as she sat braiding Calliope's hair and then Harpers she couldn't believe the rushes of warmth that would come over here every time one of them called her Mommy.

Calliope wore a green dress with black leggings, while Harper wore a similar dress in red with white leggings. They watched as Riley pulled her hair up into a messy bun before applying her makeup, each girl enthralled with watching her.

"Mommy when do we get to wear makeup" Calliope picked up an eyeshadow tray and studied it.

Riley took the tray from her daughter, "When you are a lot older, you don't need this to be beautiful."

"Neither do you Mommy." Harper pulled herself up on Riley's lap.

"Thank you Sugar Pop." Riley kissed the top of her head, "I just like a little extra sparkle for special occasions, that's all this is."

"Mommy, how did you and Daddy meet?" Calliope picked up a pot of lip gloss and studied it.

A soft smile crossed Riley's lips and she took the lip gloss, "It was the day I was first allowed to ride the subway without my parents, and I fell into his lap. Later he ended up in history class, and my Dad got very nervous when he saw the way we interacted, he knew that this was our future, your Daddy and I together, the three of you."

Calliope nodded, "Pappy Cory is so silly."

Riley stopped what she was doing, "Wait Pappy Cory?"

"Yeah, Pappy Cory and Birdie" Calliope looked at Riley as if she had two heads in this moment.

"So Daddy's parents are Grandma and Grandpa?" Riley took a moment; she'd always figured it would be the other way around.

"Yeah," Calliope shrugged she'd never known any differently.

Riley rose from the vanity and looked at her daughters, "So how do I look?"

"Amazing" Harper giggled.

"Daddy is going to think you're so beautiful." Calliope followed.

Riley smiled, "I think Daddy thinks I'm beautiful all the time."

"Yeah but he's crazy in love with you." Calliope rolled her eyes.

"It's mutual" Riley led the girls out of the bedroom and downstairs, she could already hear the voices of her parents and Lucas' as the girls raced in front of her, "Slow down Muse, Sugar Pop!"

"Riley, look at our beautiful daughter" Topanga came over and gave her a hug, "Lucas said you got hurt yesterday, are you okay?"

"I'm fine Mom, just a little fuzzy on some details." Riley confessed, "It's good to see you."

Topanga smiled, "I see you all the time."

"You come out from New York often?"

Topanga stared at her for a moment, "Your father and I moved to Austin six years ago, is that the kind of stuff you're fuzzy on?"

"Yeah, kind of" Riley didn't want to talk about it anymore; she didn't want to focus on it. "Mom, I feel like focusing on that is just going to make it harder for stuff to surface, and I would really like to enjoy tonight with all of you, and the kids, though you will have to explain how you ended up as Birdie and not Grandma."

Topanga grew stiff, "I lost a bet."

"What bet was that?"

"Reva and I made a bet about if you would have a boy or girl for the first child. Whoever guessed correctly got to be Grandma; the other had to be Birdie." Topanga sighed, "I was so sure you were having a boy, and you instead had one of the most beautiful baby girls ever."

"I do have some beautiful children, don't I?"

"You do, but I would expect nothing less, you're a great mom Riley. I'm very proud of you."

"You are?" Riley couldn't remember the last time she'd heard her own Mother say that to her, if she searched her memories, it would be close to twenty years, was that really possible?

"Of course I am" Topanga led her into the living room which had the tree set up with lights near the bay window, and "Look at this beautiful family, you have a husband who adores you, he would lay down his life for you or the kids, and these three kids, they're healthy, happy, and you give each of them the attention and focus they need from you."

Riley nodded, she knew it was true, deep down she knew but something was nagging her, "Do I do too much?"

"No, you don't do more than you can handle." Topanga led her to the porch, "The ranch runs itself really, you've got a ranch foreman, and sure this is the busy season at the tree farm, but you never do more than you can handle."

Riley nodded, "I guess seeing it the way I do now it just seems like a lot."

"I get that, but if you didn't love this, if you didn't love Lucas and the kids you wouldn't do all of this." Topanga looked in through the window, "What is it you remember right now?"

"I remember a life in New York, where I was busy, but alone, where I spent my free time partying with Maya."

Topanga sucked in a breath harshly.

"Okay, what do I not know?"

Topanga turned to her daughter, "I remember this night, ten years ago, you and Maya argued about you coming down here. She told you if you came down instead of staying in New York that you weren't really her friend. You were so hurt, you had been such a good friend to her, and really it had always been on her terms. You packed up what you hadn't already and you came down here picking yourself over her, picking Lucas over her."

Riley understood, she'd finally done what was best for her, not the person who she'd thought was her best friend. "She drinks a lot, doesn't she?"

Topanga looked out to the ranch as the sun was setting, "She's in rehab for the third time, Farkle and Zay convinced her to get help again."

"She won't succeed until she knows that it has to be her doing this, not someone else."

"That's what Shawn and Katy are afraid of, that she places her responsibilities on everyone around her."

Riley looked into the house, glowing with the start of a celebration, "That answers a few things I was wondering, but right now all I want to do is go inside and be with our family."

* * *

"I hope that tonight wasn't too awkward for you." Lucas watched as Riley removed her earrings and makeup, if anyone ever asked him what his favorite moments with Riley were he would secretly in his heart know these quiet ones, just the two of them, not the big flashy moments everyone knew about or witnessed, the ones just them.

"It wasn't thankfully, and the tree is beautiful." Riley opened a couple of drawers looking for her pajamas before finding some.

"It always is" Lucas came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her, for half a moment she tensed up and then relaxed just before his lips met the sweet spot behind her ear, "You know I haven't given you your present yet."

"I hadn't even thought about that." She sighed as she naturally moved her neck so he'd continue kissing it.

Lucas pulled away watching the pout take over her lips in the mirror before he went and pulled a small box out from his nightstand drawer "Happy Birthday Princess."

Riley accepted it with a smile before opening it, "Oh Lucas, it's a new charm." She picked it up studying the silver pine tree with 30 engraved on it, "This is beautiful, thank you."

Lucas felt her lips on his as he wrapped his arms around her, "That bracelet is almost full, I think maybe two more charms can fit on it."

Riley looked at the bracelet she'd been wearing all evening, full of charms, memories she didn't quite know at the moment, "These charms are one of my favorite traditions, I would miss it."

Lucas took the box and put down on the dresser before he unclasped the bracelet, "Good to know, because I had no intention of stopping it."

"Good" Riley felt the heat of his touch as he turned her around, unzipping her dress, the tips of his fingers against the skin of her back, she gasped.

Lucas smiled, "You know its Saturday, and it's your birthday, we did get interrupted earlier."

"That we did." Riley felt him push her dress so it would fall to the floor, leaving her in the bra and panties she'd worn with it.

He captured her lips with his as he turned her around to him again, feeling her body clinging to his with desire as he lifted her up, carrying her to the bed.

Just as he placed her down and began to map her body with kisses the eager knock rapped on the door.

"Who is it?" Lucas called out, trying to control the primal growl his body was vibrating with.

"Daddy, I don't feel good" LJs voice broke through.

Lucas and Riley sighed as they pulled apart; she grabbed her pajamas and quickly pulled them on as Lucas opened the door.

"What's wrong Sport?" Lucas studied his son, he wasn't pale and when he checked his forehead he wasn't warm.

"My tummy hurts."

"How about you and I go and laydown in your room, I bet you ate a few too many cookies tonight." Riley guided LJ to the door before looking to Lucas and mouthing goodnight.

Lucas lay back on the bed still dressed, as a frustrated sigh escaped.

Riley followed LJ to his room and lay down on the twin bed with him, "What's going on LJ is it more than your tummy?"

LJ was silent as he cuddled up to his Mommy, "Calliope says she's your favorite."

Riley shook her head, "I don't have a favorite, you're all amazing and I love you all very much."

"You don't know that, you don't remember us." He pouted.

"Oh kiddo, I might not have a clear picture of everything right now but I know you and your sisters are my world. Each of you are a blessing, and I love you so much, that I know."

"You promise Cal isn't your favorite."

"I promise is that what you were worried about, why your tummy was upset?"

LJ nodded as he hugged her tightly.

"You have no need to be upset, get some sleep All-Star; I'll see you in the morning." She kissed the top of his head as he moved to cuddle his stuffed elephant.

Riley turned off the light except for the bunny nightlight on his dresser and stood at the door for a moment watching him drift to sleep before she went and checked on Calliope and finally Harper, leaving a kiss on each of their foreheads.

When she finally got back to her and Lucas' room she found him asleep, still dressed from the party. She turned the lights off and got into bed, wrapping her arms around, her head on his chest as she listened to his heartbeat and his gentle snores.

She felt his arm pull her close as he shifted in his sleep, she felt protected and loved as she drifted to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Riley easily settled into the routine on the ranch, Calliope and LJ were in school all day long while Harper spent her mornings in pre-school. Those few sweet hours gave Riley time to go over the different lists that needed to be done at the house or assigned to the ranch hands. Her early afternoons were down at the tree farm office, with Harper close by as she checked what needed to be done, and made sure that everything was running smoothly, and ready for any events like Santa's visits on Friday evenings and the Christmas Dance on the twenty-third.

She soon discovered that she got extra frisky on Tuesday nights after the kids swim lessons when she realized the instructor looked much like Lucas did when they were younger. She giggled at the thought, trying to decide if she would tell him when they got home that night, only she didn't have the chance. He was gone on an emergency call, and by the time he got back the kids and she were fast asleep.

The next weekend was filled with activities for the kids; it was that Saturday night she realized she hadn't done any shopping for Christmas, at least none that she could recall. As she massaged the lotion into her hands as she moved across the bedroom, "Lucas, we haven't done any Christmas shopping, have we?"

He smiled, "Honey, you finished it weeks ago."

"I did?"

He nodded, "Yeah, they're mostly wrapped, out in the loft in the barn, where the kids aren't allowed."

A wave of relief swept over her, "Okay good, one less thing to worry about then."

"Hey Ri, are you okay. It's been a week, and I know I haven't asked, but are your memories back?"

She shook her head, "Not really, like I know stuff about the kids, us, I just can't remember how I know them, like I can't remember the moment that LJ brought me a frog as a gift, but I know he did it."

"It'll come to you." He played with the charms on her bracelet, "You'll remember when I gave this one, and this, and this one to you."

She puckered her lips for a moment, before running her fingers over the same charms he'd just touched, "When Calliope was born the carousel horse, when LJ was born the basketball, and Harper, when she entered our lives this beautiful little harp."

Lucas smiled, "Yes, exactly." He lifted her arm to his lips and began to plant a trail of kisses up towards her shoulder, "The kids are in bed."

Riley bit her lip, "Yes that they are." Her body arching closer to his as he pulled her onto his lap, kissing her neck and décolleté, as a soft moan of pleasure escaped from deep inside her.

"You like this?" His voice rough as his hand ran down her neck, between the valley of her breasts, over her stomach, watching the way her body moved into his touch.

"I do" her voice shaking as he laid her back on the bed, kissing her exposed skin. Her eyes fluttered shut as she felt his hands slip under her tank top discovering she was bra less.

Lucas practically growled with desire as his hands kneaded her breasts underneath the cotton. His primal desire vibrating against Riley's as his hand moved to pull her pajama's down just as the land line began to ring. "Fuck" he swore.

Riley reached for the phone since she was closer, "Friar Residence." She greeted the caller.

" _Riley, it's Farkle."_

"Why are you calling the landline?" Riley sat up as she looked to Lucas worried about what the cause of this call would be."

" _I wanted you to answer," Farkle sighed, "Listen; you have every single right to say no to this. But Maya's rehab is having a friends and family therapy day."_

" _Don't lie to her, its several days!" Zay's voice called from the background._

" _Okay it's several days and of course her parents will be there, along with me and Zay, but um she asked for you to be there."_

"Maya wants me to be at her friends and family therapy session?" Riley reached for Lucas' hand as she felt hers shaking until he gave her a gentle, supportive squeeze.

" _Yes, and I think you should be there. I don't blame you if you can't come, I will buy your ticket you can stay with me and Zay. I get that this is the busy time at the tree farm, and maybe the kids are off school, but if you can I think this will be good for both you and for Maya."_

"I um need to discuss this with Lucas, I can't just up and leave, we need to figure out how the kids would be taken care of, who would take over my duties at the tree farm." She took a moment, "I have to think about this, if it's something I even want to do Farkle. I'll call you when I know."

Lucas watched as she hung up the phone, "We both know you're going you realize that right?"

"Am I, why should I? Maya made me pick between the two of you, she told me I would be a terrible mother, she expected me to stand by her and solve all her problems for her. She refused to grow up, why should I leave our kids to help her?"

"Because you're an amazing mother," Lucas sat back up, pulling Riley onto his lap, "Because you have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known, and if you think maybe you can help her you'll try. It's who you are Riley, and it's one of the many reasons I love you."

Riley closed her eyes as she brought his hand to her lips, "What about the kids, and the tree farm?"

"I can take care of the kids, and if I need it, I'll call our parents to help me out. We can figure out the farm, Dylan will know what to do, the only thing really might be getting the dance set up, maybe I can call our Moms to help."

Riley rested her body against his, feeling his strength, his comforting energy coursing through hers, "What if I don't think I can do it since my memories are gone, they're clouded with this fake life, where I picked her over you."

"Everything happens for a reason Riley, you know that just as well as I do. Maybe that other world in your head is what she needs to hear about."

"The only thing that sounds different is no one forced her into rehab." Guilt washed over Riley, "I mean for her. Farkle is married to Smackle, Zay is with a dancer, I'm not with you and we don't have these beautiful children."

Lucas could feel her body tense as she thought of the life she remembered, "Hey Riley, babe it's okay, it's just a thing in your brain protecting you right now, it's fading, you have me, you have the kids, we're together, and if we weren't I would fight for you."

"You didn't." Riley pulled away from him and moved to the window, "In my memories I hurt you so much that you didn't fight for me."

Lucas came up behind her, wrapping his arms over hers, "I don't know what to say, other than if I didn't fight for you in some alternate reality it was because I was terrified I would still lose you."

Riley just stood there feeling his arms around her as they looked out over the ranch and tree farm. "I'll call Farkle and tell him I'll go, but I have to be back for the dance."

Lucas nodded, "Okay that sounds like a plan."

"I should go get things ready I want this to be as done with as soon as possible."

"Riley" Lucas held her before she could escape his embrace, he breathed in her scent, "I love you; you are an amazing woman."

"I love you Lucas, I can honestly tell you a life without you isn't what I would want in this or any world." She pulled away, "I'm going to go down to office downstairs and set some things up after I talk to Farkle."

"Riley that can wait until morning can't it?"

"I don't think so, I'm sorry."

Lucas watched as his wife left the bedroom, the dread that had been building in him since before her accident returned, and he couldn't help but wonder if there was something else going on he wasn't aware of, something he didn't know.

* * *

As soon as Riley got one making arrangements with Farkle for her flight she began making lists for the household, the ranch, and the tree farm of things that needed to be done each day.

She was printing them out when a file on the desktop caught her attention. It only took her a few moments of reading to realize it was a journal she kept before the accident, and what she was reading make no sense to her.

 _Let me go Lucas, please. I can't spend my whole life dreaming. I should just run away to Santa Fe_. _I need a new start, I'm getting older now. What happens when the life you dreamed of doesn't suit you?_

Had she really been planning to leave Lucas, and the kids? If she was, why, what had happened?


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Riley packed while Lucas showered, she dressed for a colder climate, made breakfast for the family, a knot twisting as she thought about the journal entries she'd read.

What was she missing about their life together? What could've gone wrong, what could've happened that she would ever think to leave Lucas?

"Mommy, you can't wear that to church." Calliope was surprised to see Riley in jeans and long sleeve blouse; this was what her Mommy would wear to a PTA meeting, not Sunday Service.

Riley took a sip of her coffee and looked to her children, "I'm not going with you to church today, Uncle Farkle and Uncle Zay need my help with something in New York, it can't wait so I have to fly out in a few hours."

"Who will take us to school and make us lunches?" LJ stopped eating his cereal and looked to his Daddy.

"I'm going to do that, with maybe a little help from Grandma and Birdie if they have time. It's only for a few days kids, just think of it as an adventure." Lucas smiled, trying to ignore the tension he was feeling from Riley.

"It'll be a little pre-Christmas adventure." Riley kissed the top of Harper's head, then LJ's and finale Calliope. "I will only be gone a couple of days, as soon as I can get back, I promise you my loves I will."

"You'll be back for the Christmas Dance right?" Calliope looked to Riley.

"Of course I will, listen I promise you my little muse first flight I can take back home when I'm done I'm on it. You kids and your Dad are my whole world. Nothing is going to keep me away from you for very long."

"Can't we go with you Mommy?" Harper looked up from her plate, her eyes wide and glossy.

"It's not really a kid activity Sugar Pop, besides you all still have school." Riley reminded them as she looked over at this scene before her, how could she ever even think of leaving this, this was everything she'd ever wanted, it was everything she needed. What was the missing piece?

Lucas wiped his mouth with the napkin before getting up from his seat, "Wish your Mom a good trip and give her a hug before you go get dressed."

The kids all obeyed giving Riley sad hugs, and she was sure she would cry.

"They'll be fine Ri," Lucas gave her a soft smile, "If after a day you think you can't help her, come home. You'll have at least tried."

"I know, I'm just going to miss you all." She took his hands in hers, feeling a comfort wash over her, "I know things aren't perfect but I love you, all of you, please don't forget that."

"I could never forget that." He gave her a gently kiss, feeling her hands drop his as they ran up his body and to the back of his neck.

Riley needed to feel this, whatever had been wrong before their love was strong enough, wasn't it? The way her toes still curled in his kiss, the way his body melted to hers told her it had to be.

"Riley" He breathed, "If you don't go now you'll miss your flight."

"I love you." She grabbed her keys and phone as she pulled reluctantly away from her husband, "I left lists about stuff on the desk, I'm sure you know all of it already though."

"Be safe, watch out for horses." He teased.

Riley stood at the front door, half in the house, half out as she blew him a kiss.

Lucas watched his wife, trying to ignore the knot growing in the pit of his stomach before he went up to get himself dressed for church.

* * *

Riley sat in the first class seat that Farkle had purchased for her, trying to figure out why she'd written those journal entries as she studied the charms on her bracelet. The small Eiffel tower that had been the first charm Lucas had given her when she received the bracelet their sophomore year, it had a promise they would go to Paris one day, a promise she realized now they hadn't fulfilled.

Was that why she had thought about leaving him? No she wasn't superficial like that.

She studied the other charms, knowing instantly which ones for birthdays, Christmas, their wedding anniversary.

She lingered on one charm, a small angel. Her heart aching, but the reason why unclear to her, every other charm warmed her heart, why did this one cause it to twist and hurt?

She put it out of her mind, at least attempted to as the plane landed.

When she got to baggage claim Zay was waiting for her. "Hey, still think you spent the last ten years here in the city?"

"Hello to you to, and yes those memories still feel more real than what I know is true." She confessed as she grabbed her suitcase, "So when do we start this thing with Maya?"

"Tomorrow morning, anything, any place you want to or need to go this afternoon?" He took her suitcase and led her out to the parking lot.

"Zay, were Lucas and I having problems before my accident?"

He stopped in the middle of the crosswalk, "You should talk to Farkle about that."

She followed him as quickly as she could to the car, "Zay, tell me what you know. Please, I found journal entries but they make no sense to me. Why would I ever think about leaving Lucas?"

He loaded her bag into the trunk of the car, "In this world of your memories, why did you not marry Lucas?"

"Maya" Riley sighed as felt Zay's arms wrap around her, "What has been happening?"

"Farkle told me she started emailing you," He rubbed her back, "I don't know what the emails said, but Farkle does. He'll know."

"Then I guess your husband has a lot to tell me."

* * *

"I'll grab the list for you just give me a minute." Lucas called out to Topanga as he went into the office, sorting over the lists Riley had put together in the middle of the night. He found the one for the Christmas Dance, thankful their Mother's had agreed to take the lead on that for them.

As he put the other lists down his thumb grazed over the mousepad, waking the machine and the words on the screen caught his attention.

 _I'm drowning, that's how it feels. I can't explain why I can't let this go. How is this my life? Why do I feel the walls closing in on me? Somedays I just want to pack a bag withdraw cash from our account and just hop a flight and never look back._

His stomach dropped.

His heart began to rip into a million pieces.

She was coming back right?

Riley had to be coming back.

This had to be her just venting right?

Had he put too much on his wife?

Was she drowning in responsibilities, or was it something else?

He looked down at the lists, before picking them all up and going out into the hall, "You know what Topanga I think I've got this all. It's not as much as I was expecting, but I've got it. I've got it all."

"Lucas, what's wrong?" She could see he'd gone pale, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Do I take Riley for granted?"

"Lucas, where is this coming from?" Topanga looked out the window to see the three kids playing outside.

His hands were shaking, "After the accident, I remember we were talking about responsibilities, and she said something about her doing it all. Do I make her do it all?"

"You're job isn't easy, you're on call a lot of the time." She assured him, "You've been running that practice basically yourself the last six years. If you're really worried that you're not here enough with Riley and the kids, figure out what you need to do to make that happen. Maybe hire on a junior doctor."

Lucas nodded, "Is it too much, the ranch, the farm, the kids? Is she happy?"

Topanga guided Lucas into the living room, "Riley is a Mom of three young children, she loves it, but every child can be a bit stressful at times, and sometimes no matter how helpful a partner is, how hands on they are, it might not feel like they're really there."

Lucas was silent as he thought about what Topanga said.

"You know, the night of the dance, why don't the kids come stay with me and Cory. You two probably need some alone time, things haven't been easy lately with her accident, and now she's in New York, what is she even doing in New York?"

"Maya's in rehab, she asked that Riley be at the family and friend's therapy or something like that." Lucas sat on the couch, "She's coming back right?"

"Of course she is, Riley loves you Lucas, she loves the kids, she loves this life the good and the bad."

Lucas nodded as looked down at his hands, his wedding band once shiny and bright, dulled and dinged from years of working with his hands. "Her memories Topanga, she doesn't remember us still. She thinks she had a life in New York."

"On her birthday she and I had a chat, she was overwhelmed, naturally, but I reminded her that the ranch runs itself really. The two of you have a very dedicated staff who knows what needs to be done and when. The tree farm yes this is the busy season, but it'll be slow and quiet soon. Neither of you do more than you can handle."

"I pray your right," Lucas rubbed the back of his neck, "Doc Evans said she thought Riley created these memories of a life in New York to protect her from worrying about the kids, what if it was to give her a sense of life without me and the kids?"

Topanga watched him, she hadn't seen him look this lost since they had been in high school and he had to make a choice that wasn't a choice. "Lucas, whatever it was, Riley loves you. I've seen the way she looks at you, she's not leaving you. She wouldn't, she could never live with herself if she did."

* * *

Zay immediately took Riley's bag into the guestroom in a bid to avoid the confrontation that was about to go down between his husband and best friend.

"Hey Riley" Farkle rose from the couch, seeing a look he knew he didn't want to be on the other end of but apparently was.

She put her purse down and removed her coat, slowly, taking this last few moments before she unclenched her jaw, "Was I planning to leave Lucas?"

"Shit" Farkle went over to the bar cart and poured himself a scotch, "You remembered that huh?"

"I found my journal entries, but nothing that said why I wanted to leave." She took the drink from him and downed it, "Spill it Farkle. Why would I want to leave Lucas?"

Farkle took the glass back from her and poured himself another, taking a sip before he answered, "Before Maya got into rehab, she started emailing you."

"Okay so, she tried to get back into contact, how could that lead to me leaving Lucas?"

"She got in your head, the way she used to when we were younger. She had you thinking you were doing too much, that you were missing something." He took another sip of his scotch and looked out at his view of the city, "She got to you she had you thinking you had to get out. You were freaking out the day of your accident. I was hoping when I got to Texas to snap you out of it."

"But I don't remember the last ten years." Riley went over to the window looking out at the city, "I remember this or something like it, I don't remember Texas, but Texas feels right, Lucas feels right, those kids feel right."

"Then be with them, be with Lucas, be the mother you are, don't let her get into your head again." Farkle encouraged.

Riley looked to her oldest friend, "Why bring me here for her therapy?"

Farkle took a final sip of his scotch, "I think the two of you have a lot of things to say, and right now, in your TV Movie amnesiac state, it might be a chance for you to be the most honest with her."

Riley sighed, "How do I let her get to me this way?"

"You want to help her, and she just wants you to put her first."

"I guess tomorrow is going to be interesting."

"Yeah probably" Farkle put the glass down on a table, "You know what, you're in New York City for the first time in years, where do you want to go?"

"Honest answer, I want to go do some Christmas shopping for the kids, Lucas swears I did it already, but I'm here and I miss them."

"That Riley is a good thing." Farkle started leading her across the living room, "Zay, let's go shopping for our favorite kids."

"Already ahead of you" Zay was throwing his scarf back on and pulling up an app on his phone, "I have the email of what Riley already got the kids weeks ago, so we don't have to accidentally double up on anything."

"Great, let's have a nice afternoon, I think tomorrow is going to be difficult." Riley pulled out her phone quickly typing out a text message.

 _With Farkle and Zay, I love you, I miss you, hug the kids for me. I promise I'll be home as soon as this is over._


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author Note: 1) So I cried when I wrote this so you my dear sweet wonderful readers know that means I think you'll probably cry as well. Riley learns something in this chapter that will be difficult for her. 2) I want to say thank you to everyone who messaged me over the last few weeks, everyone who talked to me, the few of you that let me vent when I was upset, seriously thank you. The support you showed really did in the end outweigh the negative. xoxo**_

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

Riley stared at her reflection in the mirror; she hadn't slept well missing the sound of Lucas breathing, the feel of his arms around her, as she pulled her dark chocolate hair up into a quick bun. Her fingers drew down her neck to the thin chain she wore that held a cross, she studied the intricate design knowing it had been a gift from Lucas, she didn't need to remember the exact moment to know, she just did.

She hadn't really put together the difference of her memories and the reality, she and Maya haven't seen each other since she was pregnant with Calliope, though apparently there had been recent emails. Knowing what she knew now, having the memories she had now Riley was furious that she had allowed Maya to get in her head the way she had.

As she dressed in what she considered her PTA meeting clothes she wondered if she was doing the right thing. Part of her just wanted to be back in Texas making breakfast, getting the kids ready for school, feeling the quick touch from Lucas as he moved around her in the kitchen and vice versa.

"Hey Mrs. Friar, time to get going" Farkle had quietly pushed the door open, "Are you sure you're up for this?"

"As ready as I think I could be." She twisted her wedding band around her finger, ever since the accident she couldn't help but touch it, make sure it was real, understanding now that at least in her memories had felt the ghost of it on her finger, as if she should've been wearing it all along and hadn't.

Farkle handed her a paper cup of coffee, "Listen, I know this is difficult, and your memories are still off."

"This is all happening for a reason Farkle, I remember what I do for a reason, and maybe part of it is to help Maya understand she would be in need of help no matter what." Riley took a sip; letting the hazelnut coffee warm her as Farkle grabbed their coats from the closet.

When they were walking the short distance from the door to the waiting town car Riley realized she wasn't prepared for a New York winter, the crisp chill cutting through her jacket, the sky clouded over, dull, with the promise of snow in the air.

In the car Riley closed her eyes for a moment as she sipped the coffee and tried to ignore the knot in her stomach, "Has she been in this kind of program before?" She finally let the question hit the air.

"Not like this," Farkle admitted, "We've done what we could, what she was willing to try in the past."

Riley nodded as she looked around, realizing it felt as though they were about to attend a funeral rather than on their way to help a friend.

"It's going to be a rough day, for all of us." Zay's words cut through the silence, "But hopefully at the end of it, Maya will see what she needs to see, and so will we."

Throughout the rest of the car ride Riley was silent, her fingers either rubbing against the cross she wore around her neck, twisting her wedding rings, or tracing the charms on her bracelet feeling the warmth of the unrecalled memories and the chill of heartbreak whenever she touched the angel.

The clinic was just outside the city, beautifully landscaped; it looked more like a hotel to Riley than a treatment facility. The lawn was covered in the first thin blanket of snow as the car pulled up to the front door.

Inside it looked more like what Riley was expecting, but still with that five star hotel appeal. They joined Shawn and Katy, before they were giving visitor badges and brought into room that had plush comfortable furniture set up in a circle. Farkle, Zay, and Riley all sat on the couch, while Katy and Shawn each took a chair and they waited, as the minutes ticked on.

Shawn ran his hand through his salt and pepper hair, "Shouldn't someone be with us by now?"

The door opened and a woman in her maybe forties came in with a file, "Good morning thank you for coming in today for this. I'm Nicolette; I'm Maya's head recovery coach. I know most people think of today as a therapy session for all, but that's not really what this is. Today is really just about being honest with each other, especially with Maya."

"Are you sure she can handle that?" The words had crossed Riley's lips and she hadn't even realized she said them.

All the eyes were on her now as Riley looked up. "I mean can she, Maya has never really handled the truth of how her actions effect people before, is she really ready for that, for any of this?"

Nicolette scribbled a small note on her pad, "Maya is as ready as she'll ever be to hear how her addiction has affected you all."

Riley stayed quiet, as did everyone else.

"She'll be in, in just a moment. This is a safe space for all of you, the only way that Maya is going to get better is if she understands what has happened."

Riley felt Farkle take her hand when the door opened, Maya came in wearing black yoga pants, a t-shirt with the facilities logo on it, and a zip hoodie that also had the same logo. She sat in the chair next to Nicolette, looking around until she saw Riley, "You came" A smile spreading across her face.

Riley simply nodded, before looking down at her bracelet.

Katy cried while she spoke, her motherly worry overflowing, Shawn cried knowing that even though she wasn't biologically his, she was his daughter and he didn't know how he failed her, wondering what he hadn't seen.

Riley listened, she absorbed, once when she was a young teen her Grandmother Rhiannon had told her she was an empath, taking on other people's emotions, making it difficult for her at times to understand her own. She hadn't given it much thought then, and never thought about it much before, until now as she sat in this room feeling the different types of anxiety and fear coursing through her.

"And you Mrs. Friar, what do you have to say to Maya?" Nicolette moved forward slightly on her seat, every instinct this woman had knew that fireworks were about to go off.

"Invisible," Riley ran her fingers over the charms on her bracelet, "That's how you made me feel so many times Maya. You made me feel as if I wasn't important unless I was doing what you wanted, what you needed from me. You would make me feel guilty if I ever even thought about putting what I wanted ahead of your needs. I only existed for what you wanted, what you needed."

Riley ran her hands over her knees, "We exist in this world to placate you. We exist for you to be impulsive, for you to make mistakes, for you to get what you need from us, like hope. But what do you give us in return? Are you there for Farkle, for Zay, for your parents? No, you're not. If it's not about you, if it's not about what you want, what you need, than it's not important."

Riley took a deep breath, "It used to eat away at me, and there have been times when I needed you. You were supposed to be my best friend Maya; you were supposed to be my sister. But you wanted me to give up the love of my life, you wanted me to give up the children we would have," She lifted her wrist, gently shaking the charm bracelet, "this is what you wanted me to give up Maya. This life, that's what these charms are, they are the important moments of my life with Lucas. The birth of our children, Calliope, LJ, Harper," her finger hovered over the angel, "and Kevin, these are happy moments and sad moments, this is what life is Maya, it's the good and the bad, but it's everything if you let it be, if you can look inside yourself and realize that you need to hold onto the life you have even when it's bad."

Farkle watched Riley, the way she leaned back on the couch as grief swept over her. The way her hands shook, and he knew it was coming as Riley shot to her feet, "I need air, right now."

"Excuse us." Farkle led her outside of the room to a small covered and screened-in patio, "Riley, just breathe please just breathe."

Riley looked down at her bracelet, studying the angel charm, "Kevin, my baby, how did I forget him, how could I?"

Farkle kneeled in front of her, taking her hands in his, "Lucas said the doctor thought your brain was protecting you right, if there is one thing we all wish you didn't have to remember, it's how it felt when you lost Kevin, that pain you carry around every day."

Riley wiped the tears from her eyes but it didn't help she was still blurry, "That's why she started emailing me again, isn't it. I lost Kevin, I was vulnerable, I—I felt like I had failed Lucas, and she did it again, she got to me again."

Farkle pulled her into his arms as she began sobbing her body shaking as her memories began to flood her, first the painful ones, and then the happy ones. He held her until she stopped crying, "Do you want to go back in there?"

"No," she gave her best friend a soft smile, "I want to go home to my husband, to my children, I need to go and sit at Kevin's tree."

"We'll get our things and go," Farkle went to the door, "Riley, you didn't fail Lucas, and he didn't fail you. The two of you just made a perfect angel."

Riley felt the tears well up as she nodded to him, taking a moment to try and really collect herself before she followed back into the room.

"See she makes it all about her." Maya spat out, pouting in her seat.

Nicolette looked around the room at the group, as Zay rose, "You don't know what Riley has been through Maya. You don't know what she's going through right now, but even with all of that she came here to try and help because you wanted her here. Let's be honest Maya the only one who can help you now, is you."

"Find the strength in yourself to help yourself." Riley picked up her purse and jacket. "Do this because it's what you want, what you can do, the rest of us can tell you how these decisions you've made have affected us, but none of us can be sober for you Maya. Have a good life."

"You're leaving, where are you going?"

"Home, to Texas that's where I am really, truly needed." Riley opened her purse and pulled out a picture of her and Maya from high school, "These two had so much to look forward to, I found what I wanted maybe now you will."

"What is so important in Texas?" Maya took the picture before looking up.

"My husband, my children, my business, and several sheet cakes' I need to make for the Christmas charity dance. The life you picture for me would never make me happy, I would be empty, find the life you want Maya, make it everything you've ever wanted."

"What if what I want; is you?" Maya waited for her to understand what she meant.

"Oh, oh, oh" Riley sat down again for moment, "Um, I'm flattered but my heart has and always will belong to Lucas."

Maya nodded, trying to ignore the tears she'd always known she would cry in this moment, "I guess I just always held out hope that one day you would realize you were meant to be with me and not him."

"All I can say is I'm sorry, but I'm not the one for you Maya. There is a woman out there for you, or a man, whichever you decide you want. But that person isn't me."

"I guess I really needed to hear that." Maya sat back in her seat, her foot tapping against the leg of the chair.

* * *

When they left the session not long after Riley pulled her jacket around her body tightly, "Do you think I can get on a flight out tonight?" She looked to Farkle before they stepped outside to see that four inches of snow had fallen.

"Airports are closed; we're going to have a hard enough time getting back into the city." Farkle sighed, "I'm sorry Riley I know you want to get back home, and I promise the first flight I can get you on, you're going."

"Thank you for that, I do think I needed to be here, I think I needed to know that about Maya," she paused as the driver opened the door for the backseat, "Did you guys know about that?"

"I suspected it, but I never knew for sure." Zay confessed, "I think for a long time Maya wasn't sure."

Riley looked out the window around them as the car started up, she didn't know what to say anymore, she didn't know if there were any words she could say. All she could do now was hope that this snowstorm wouldn't last too long and that she would be back home in Texas with her family.

"Shit" Farkle looked up from his phone, "The storm is supposed to last two days, I'm sorry Riley it looks like your stuck here with us for a little while."

"Two days, oh my goodness, I don't know if Lucas can handle the kids for that long on his own."

"He'll be fine Riley" Zay assured her as he looked at his own phone, reading the text from Lucas.

 _Don't worry; she'll be home as soon as she can. I promise you, your wife is coming back to you._ He sent the text message off quickly before tucking his phone into his jacket pocket.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Author Note: Sorry this one took so long I was having some computer issues, which I think I might have gotten cleared up—fingers crossed! Only 2 more chapters after this one. Thank you for all the kind words, I seriously have the best readers.**_

 _ **Lucas and Riley do discuss their grief in this chapter.**_

 _ **Song Used 22 by Taylor Swift, thank you HOLLY for the suggestion when I couldn't access my music library.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

" _You don't know when you'll be home?" His voice was pained, tight, almost as though he was drowning._

" _We don't know how long the airports will be closed. But Farkle promises he'll have me on the first possible flight home. I'm so sorry Lucas."_

" _Just come home."_

 _She could hear the fear in the simple precious words. "I will, I promise."_

How many times had Riley replayed that conversation in her mind since Monday night. She couldn't help but think he didn't expect her to return. Had he found the journal entries?

A cold knot of guilt grew in her stomach as she looked out the window as her flight landed. She didn't tell him she was coming home today, she just wanted to get there, have sometime alone with Kevin at his tree and then just hug her kids as tight as possible and then cling to her husband for hours until he forgave her.

Her memories were back, she understood now what her mind had been trying to protect her from all this time.

When she arrived at the ranch it appeared quiet, she figured Lucas was at work while the kids were at school, Harper maybe with one of her grandparents.

As she walked in she could smell something baking, if she didn't know better she would think it was her award-winning Texas Sheet Cake. She put her bag down and went to the kitchen, she could hear the Taylor Swift song playing as he danced to himself while washing dishes just before the timer for the oven went off.

She was right, it was her Sheet Cake, she watched him pull it out of the oven and set it down to cool. He had a small smile on his face as he picked up a wooden spoon and began to sing along with the song.

" _Everything will be alright. If you keep me next to you."_

Riley slipped behind him, hitting the next song on the playlist.

As the music switched Lucas slowly turned around, gasping when he saw his wife reaching out for him as the song that played during their first dance as husband and wife wrapped around them, "Riley, you're home."

"Of course, I am." She pulled him towards her when he accepted her hand, his thumb gently rubbing over her knuckles.

He breathed her in, enjoying the feel of her against him as they slowly moved to the music, "I saw the letter on your laptop, I was afraid you wouldn't come back."

"I was venting my frustrations, my anger, my grief, I felt like I failed you, and Kevin." She confessed as she closed her eyes bracing herself for whatever came next.

Lucas pulled her into a tight embrace, his eyes clouded with tears as a sob heaved in his chest, "You didn't fail me, or him."

"I know." Riley clung to him, "But knowing that doesn't mean I didn't feel like I did."

Lucas pulled away, dropping to his knees, his head resting against her stomach, "No Riley, no, you didn't. You could never and have never failed me or the kids."

She could feel his tears soaking through her shirt as her fingers combed through his hair. "Lucas, babe, please stop crying. I've cried enough the last few days, I don't want to cry anymore."

He pulled away just enough that he gave Riley the space to drop to her knees as well, cupping his face with her hands, draping her arms on his shoulders, "I know I didn't fail you, or Kevin. Farkle, said something to me that made me feel so much better after the grief swept over me again, we made a perfect angel. Kevin is watching over us, he might have been our youngest, but I know he's protecting all of us."

Lucas stared into those chocolate eyes that had stolen his heart so many years ago, on an early morning subway ride, "You remember?" it was only now hitting him what was happening, "What do you remember?"

"Everything" She smiled as she searched the meadow green eyes that she could swear were part of her very own soul, "I remember our wedding vows, I recall picking the names for our children, the way we just _knew_ she would be a Calliope, or when we were walking along to trees, and I just looked at you and said, his name is Lucas-Joseph."

"How do you remember? I was starting to believe it would never come back?"

Riley closed her eyes as she rested her forehead against his, "That session thing with Maya, the words came out and then the memories flooded me. And all I wanted to do was get home to you and the kids, but the snow, oh Lucas I don't think I've ever seen so much snow."

Lucas caressed her face, his fingers tracing the outlines of her features as he studied her. "I was so scared, I don't know what I would do in this world without you."

"You don't have to find out. I promise, I'm here Lucas, I'm here with you, our children, and I'm not leaving again. I remember our life, I remember the joy and the pain." She took his hand bringing it to her lips and kissing his palm, one that was calloused from years working the ranch, tree farm, and taking care of the animals. A hand that had touched her more times than she could ever care to count, but still sent waves of delight through her.

"Promise me that if something is upsetting you we'll talk about it. If you need me home more, tell me, I could always hire a junior doctor, it's probably time I did anyways."

"Let's just take it one day at a time for right now, we'll see how things are going, we'll make any decisions on what is actually happening, not on what ifs." She let her fingers trail down his jawline, "Let's go sit with Kevin for a little bit, then the kids will be home."

Lucas nodded as he helped her up from the floor, he kissed her forehead before leading her out the backdoor.

Riley breathed in the fresh air as they went down the back steps, moving down the back pathway, stopping in front of the small oak tree. She could see the angel figurine she'd placed under it the day she and Lucas planted it.

They sat on the ground, Riley in front of Lucas, his arms wrapped around her as they sat in silence. A gentle warm wind blowing around them. Tears in their eyes as they spoke, but comfort in being with each other.

"I know you're watching out for all of us my angel." Riley kissed two of her fingers before resting them on the statue before she and Lucas went back to the house.

Lucas ran a hand over his hair, "So, what do we do now?"

Riley smiled, "You've only made one sheet cake babe, we need two more."

He stared at her, "Two more, do you know what I had to do to make this?"

Riley giggled, "It's a prize-winning recipe buckaroo, I know what it takes."

Lucas picked her up, spinning her around as she laughed, it was music to his ears before he set her down, "Riley Emily Friar, you amaze me."

"You Lucas Merlin Friar amaze me, you always have, you always will."

* * *

Calliope got out of her Grandmother's car before helping Harper out of her seat. She missed her Mommy who had been gone much longer than it seemed anyone was expecting. LJ was already running up the stairs expecting to find their Mommy, but Calliope knew they wouldn't find her waiting for them. She just hoped she would be home for Christmas, and that Daddy wouldn't be sad anymore.

Sure, her Mommy didn't remember them well, but even though she hadn't been the same since the incident with Jasmine, that didn't mean she didn't love them, and that they didn't love her.

"Mommy!" Harper's cry startled Calliope as she dropped her bookbag on the ground and ran towards the kitchen.

Her Mommy was hugging Harper and LJ while her Daddy was taking cakes out of the oven. Was this real, this couldn't be real, could it? "Mommy?" Calliope stood at the doorway, watching as her mother looked up and then released the younger children before coming over and embracing her.

"My sweet muse how I have missed you so much." Riley kissed the top of her daughter's head, "I'm so very sorry I was gone for so long, so sorry."

Calliope wasn't sure but she thought maybe her Mommy was crying, but why? "I missed you Mommy." She held onto her mother tightly, ignoring the fact that Harper and LJ were also hugging her.

"Okay guys, give Mommy some room to breathe." Lucas warned, "Go get washed up, I would offer you a snack but we all know Grandma probably gave you some sweets."

"Me, never." Reva had been right behind the children, bringing in some toys Harper had with her.

Lucas rolled his eyes, "This woman barely let me have any kind of sweet as a kid, but the grandkids she'll fill them up on cookies."

"That's why he's so obsessed with cake." Riley watched her children run down the hall to the bathroom.

"I can see that you've got some cooling right now." Reva looked around, "Are you two okay?"

"We are." Riley took Lucas' hand in hers, "We will be, we're together and that's all that matters."

"Good, good." Reva nodded and then smiled, "Still want me to take the kids tomorrow night like we discussed yesterday Riley."

"If you don't mind, it would be nice if they spent a night with you guys." Riley bit her lower lip.

Reva let out a small chuckle, "It's no problem at all sweetheart, I think the two of you could use some alone time for a night, and tomorrow is a good night with the dance and all."

"Thank you, Reva, I appreciate it." Riley hugged her mother-in-law, "Now I'm going to go check on the kids, excuse me."

Lucas studied his mother, "You knew she was going to be home today?"

"Yeah, I did, she wanted to surprise you. She had a feeling you were worried about something. Which I will never understand the two of you always worried about the other." Reva cupped Lucas' chin in her hand, "You love her and she loves you, you have three beautiful children, and I know that the grief can sometimes swallow you in a way you don't understand, but don't let it destroy you."

* * *

"Mommy you won't go away again, will you?" LJ dried his hands as he waited for his sisters to finish washing up.

"Oh baby, I promise I am not leaving again anytime soon. I missed you all far too much to be away from you." She kissed the top of his head, "Come with me I got you guys all something very special while I was in the city."

Riley brought the kids into the living room, "Lucas come in here please."

"Just a second I'm walking Mom to the door." He called out and a moment later found his wife and children sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace. "What's going on?"

"Mommy said she got something for us in New York." LJ sat on Lucas' lap as soon as his Daddy had sat down.

"This should be interesting." Lucas looked to his wife, not sure what she could've or would've gotten them.

"These are very special items, I think you're all old enough now to have them." Riley took out three small Tiffany blue boxes. "Lucas-Joseph this is for you."

LJ took the box and stared at it for a moment before opening it and finding a cross that matched the one his Daddy wore, "It's just like yours." He looked up into the green eyes that mirrored his own.

"It sure is buddy." Lucas helped him remove it from the box and put it on, "Keep is safe and close to your heart."

"Girls you can open yours." Riley watched them as the opened the boxes and each discovered their own crosses that matched the one she wore.

"Mommy it's beautiful." Calliope studied it, "And its just like yours."

"Yes, except for one small thing." Riley moved to show them the engraving on the back, "The two of you are sisters, hold on to that, it's a special bond unlike any other in the world."

"Thank you, Mommy," Harper hugged her, just enjoying having her Mommy back, really back.

"You are welcome Sugar Pop." Riley kissed the top of her head before helping each girl put on their necklaces. "I love you all so very much, please don't forget that."

"We won't Mommy." LJ moved from his Daddy's lap to his Mommy and hugged her tightly.

* * *

The kids were in bed, tucked in and safely dreaming about Christmas which was only a few days away. Riley stood at the bedroom window, looking out as the moonlight washed over the ranch and in the distance, she could see the lights from the tree farm turn off.

Lucas came up behind her, "So, why do you want to be alone with me tomorrow night, that you had to get my parents to take the kids?"

"If you must ask it's been far too long, which is has been." She relaxed as he held her. "I was never going to leave, not really."

"I know that now, but I was scared Riley." He confessed

"Maya had started to email me after we lost Kevin, you know how she's always been able to get to my insecurities, and she did." Riley confessed, "Lucas she's a mess, and she thinks she wants me."

"What do you mean she wants you?" Lucas watched as his wife moved towards the fireplace, her fingers moving across the mantle.

Riley turned to him, "She wants me the way that you have me."

Lucas was silent for a moment, "Maya wants you, oh."

"Yeah, I was kind of thrown by that. It never occurred to me."

"Really, never, not once?" Lucas shook his head, "I do think a lot of people suspected there was something between the two of you that wasn't exactly friends or sisters."

"You think so, really?"

"I know so." Lucas sat on the bed, "Sometimes when we were younger I thought I might lose you to her, that she might be the one in your heart and not me."

Riley sat on his lap, watching the way his lips turned up in a smile. "The first time I found myself in your lap you found a way into my heart, like a string and it just kept pulling us towards each other, repeatedly. Nothing has ever been able to sever it, nothing and nobody ever will."

Lucas rested his face against her neck, his lips planting soft kisses.

"Lucas" she giggled, "Save it for tomorrow night."

"Why" he pouted as he felt her pull away.

Their bedroom door opened only a second later and Harper came in with her teddy bear, "Mommy, Daddy, I had a bad dream."

Riley looked to Lucas, "This is why, come on Sugar Pop get on in."

Harper crawled into the bed finding a spot in the middle as she watched her Daddy and Mommy both get into the bed before her Daddy turned off the light.

"Sweet dreams Harper." Lucas kissed the top of her head before he put his arms around his youngest daughter and his wife.

Riley watched as they both fell asleep, and she couldn't imagine anything else in the world could ever make her feel this happy, this full of peace.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Author Note: So, because of something in this chapter I gotta up the rating to M. Also the song used is Geronimo, by Sheppard. Seriously thank you all for still reading this, you guys are beyond amazing. XOXO!**_

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

"Okay wonderful, this looks just perfect." Riley took one last look around the barn of the tree farm as the kids ran around, and the grandmas helped finish setting up, "Thank you both so much for everything you've done to help us. I know that recently things have been _difficult_."

Reva smoothed Riley's hair and smiled to her daughter-in-law, "I'm glad you and Lucas have found your footing again."

"As am I." Topanga set the last sheet cake up on the table, "Now you go get the kids and yourself ready. And remember to have fun tonight."

Riley tried to keep her smile from being too large, "I will try to remember that." She looked around, "Come on kids, we've got to get you ready for your sleepover okay."

The kids pouted as they moved towards their Mom, "Can't we stay at home tonight?" LJ looked up with his eyes wide.

"Daddy and I will be out far too late All-Star, so you'll get to hang out with Grandma and Grandpa, and she'll fill you up with all the sweets she never let your Daddy have as a child." Riley stroked his hair, "But you'll be back home first thing in the morning, and we'll have our nice Christmas Eve, and before you know it, it'll be Christmas morning."

LJ sighed, "Okay Mommy" He didn't really get it but there wasn't anything he could argue with that she'd said.

* * *

LJ sat on the stairs, his backpack next to him, his sisters sitting on the two steps behind him. He watched his father adjust the blue sweater he wore over a black V-neck t-shirt. "Daddy?" LJ's voice was small, "When did you know that Mommy was going to be our Mommy?"

Lucas stopped and turned to his son as he slipped his cross beneath the collar of his t-shirt, "Um, like when did we know we were going to have you guys or when did I know she was the girl for me?"

LJ thought for a moment, "The girl for you."

Lucas sat next to his son, "The first time I really thought it was our first date, I was young, and I didn't really understand what I was thinking, but I remember when your Mommy came down the subway stairs in this purple sparkly dress, her hair in these soft princess like curls, and I forgot to breathe for a moment and I thought to myself I will remember this moment forever, because Riley Matthews is the girl for me."

LJ stuck out his tongue and made a face, "You're as bad as Pappy Cory and Birdie."

Lucas chuckled, "Yeah well, that's not a bad thing."

Calliope and Harper began rushing down the stairs, "Daddy just wait until you see Mommy, she looks like a princess."

Lucas smiled, "She always looks like a princess." He countered as they got up from the steps and Riley began to make her way down in a purple knee length eggplant colored dress, with sequins on the bodice, "Wow, it's like we're in the 7th grade again."

Riley giggled, "Lucas Merlin Friar where did you find that sweater?"

"It the closet, why?" He was engrossed in how beautiful she looked as he took her hand and brought it to his lips.

"It looks exactly like the one you had in middle school, the one you wore on our first date."

"I could say that about your dress." He stepped back, "I've never forgotten the way you took my breath away that day Riley, I never will."

She blushed, "Really?"

He nodded, "Yeah, it got me through some difficult times in high school."

Riley raised an eyebrow to him, "Oh is that so?"

"Again it is." Before he could continue the door opened and his father came in.

"Grandkids, who is ready for a sleepover?" He called out as the rushed to him for a hug. "Great go hug your parents and grab your bags."

"Hey Dad" Lucas shook his father's hand, "Thank you for taking the kids tonight."

"Hey that's what we're here for." He looked at them, "Have fun, enjoy a night without the kids, the two of you deserve some time together."

"Thank you." Riley kissed his cheek, "Kids, you listen to Grandma and Grandpa okay? Remember Santa is still checking his list."

Calliope sighed, "Okay, we'll be good."

Riley and Lucas hugged and kissed each child before they were loaded up into their grandfather's car.

Riley grabbed a black shawl and threw it over her arms as Lucas led her out of the house, and down to his truck.

"You know part of me feels like that nervous guy the night of our Graduation from high school." He opened the door for her, helping her in.

"You mean the night where we first made love?"

He nodded, "Yeah, when we snuck away from the party on the beach and back the house."

"And we went to my room, and finally gave in, and then we realized we had a real problem." She smiled.

"Yeah figuring out when and how to do it again was kind of an issue that summer." He started the truck, driving down to the tree farm, the parking lot already filling up as he parked in the owner's spot.

Riley looked up at the sky, full of stars and moonlight as she made a wish to always be with Lucas, to never lose him. "We figured it out, and my Dad never caught us."

"Thank God." Lucas chuckled as he let her out of the truck. "Come on, I'm dying to dance with you."

Riley felt his hand around hers, and she couldn't believe after all these years how much comfort, trust was in that small gesture that had once seemed impossible and terrifying.

"Dr. Friar, _Mrs._ Friar" an older woman greeted them, "I'm so glad to see you two looking happy, I was just ever so worried since I heard about your little accident with Jasmine."

Riley smiled to the woman, "Oh Mrs. Ellis, has your daughter Alice had any luck at all on that new dating site I heard she signed up for? I sure hope she does, I know how you worry about her."

Mrs. Ellis had never had her snap back at her before she'd never liked Riley, she kept hoping she'd leave Lucas so that Alice could heal his sure to be broken heart. "She's doing just well, I heard you were recently in New York, will you be spending more time away from your family."

"Not at all, I'm going to be here with Lucas until God says otherwise. "Riley smiled before pulling Lucas away.

Lucas squeezed her hand, "Does she expect me to just fall in love with her daughter if you're not around?"

"Yes, and let me tell you I don't think you would."

"The hold you have on my heart Riley, no matter what world we're in, you would still have it." Lucas pulled her onto the dance floor, "Now I plan to dance with you for as long as you'll let me before I take you home."

"What happens when we get home?" She swayed with him to the music being performed by a local band.

He pulled her close, his hand on the small of her back as he looked into her chocolate eyes, "I'm going to take you up to our bedroom, slowly undress you, and then make love to you until sunrise."

Riley felt the flush of excitement trickle through her body, "That sounds absolutely wonderful Dr. Friar."

* * *

The house was dark when they returned home, the silence that was settled over the house odd to them. When was the last time it had just been the two of them, far too long as far as Lucas was concerned as he hung Riley's shawl up by the door and locked up for the night.

Riley kicked her heels off tossing them in the shoe basket by the door just before Lucas lifted her up, cradling her in his arms, "Lucas, what are you doing?"

His eyes were dark with desire, "Exactly what I promised you, I'm taking my wife to bed."

"I think I can walk up the stairs."

He didn't put her down, he just carried her up to their bedroom and pushed the door open with his foot. There was a fire going, and a few candles lit already.

"Lucas, how did you do this?"

He gently set her down, "I had a little help, maybe a little Christmas magic."

"You really are the best." She pressed up on her toes, her fingers caressing his cheek before her lips landed upon his.

His arms wrapped around her to keep her safe, and close as they slowly kissed, taking their time, enjoying the sensation of just kissing.

Riley pulled away first, "You Dr. Friar are not the only one with some surprises."

"Where are you going?" He watched her move towards the bathroom.

She leaned against the doorframe, "Get comfortable, I'll be back in just a moment."

Lucas watched her disappear into the bathroom and close the door. He removed his sweater and t-shirt, dropping them on the reading chair before he removed his pants, tossing them in the pile, leaving just his navy-blue boxer briefs on as he sat on the foot of the bed.

His body surged with anticipation, Riley could come out wearing layers upon layers of flannel and he would still be more than ready to peel it off her, to make her feel the kind of alive that only happened between the two of them.

The door opened, and he could see Riley's silhouette, the dress gone, and as she stepped into the room he realized she was wearing a sheer purple babydoll slip. She slowly walked across the bedroom towards her husband.

Lucas felt his breath catch when he saw her, it amazed him that she could always find a way to take his breath away as she stood in front of him.

Riley took in the sight of her husband with the fire and candle light flickering against his body. Her heart was racing, her body nervous for his touch.

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world Riley," his hands glided up her body, over her hips, under the slip as the tips of his fingers teasing the edge of her panties.

"Lucas, you make me feel beautiful, the way you look at me, even when I'm sweaty and covered in hay, or exhausted and ragged after chasing the kids around, you look at me as if I'm the only woman who could possibly exist in the world."

He smiled as his hands moved up to just below her breasts, his thumbs gently caressing her as he stood up looking into her eyes, "I love you, always Riley, let me show you baby, please."

Riley snaked her arms around his neck, her fingers teasing the back of his head, "Please Lucas, we've waited far too long."

He kissed her with every ounce of need he had for her as he lifts her up, feeling her legs wrap around him as he moved to lay her on the bed beneath him.

They enjoyed taking their time with the kiss before Riley felt his fingers beneath the straps of her slip, followed by his lips as he pulled them down, his hands moving to the valley between her breasts which were washed in moonlight as he caressed her before sitting forward, his tongue teasing lightly as his eyes locked with hers, seeing the unspoken pleasure flooding her body.

Riley arched her body towards him. Feeling her slip hiked up, and down as he moved from one breast to the other with a hunger she couldn't remember the last time she felt from him.

It took everything in her to pull away from him, leaving him hungry as he watched as she pushed the slip to the floor and reached for his hand, placing his fingers under the band of the panties, her chest rising and falling as she felt his touch graze against her before he stood up.

She ran her fingers down his chest, thinking of all the work put into their life, their home that made these muscles, every single one a result of his acts of love. She looked into his eyes smiling before her fingers slipped under the elastic, freeing him before she looked down, thrilled with what she saw.

Lucas kicked the boxer briefs away just as he felt her finger tips caress him before he pulled his wife to him kissing her as his hand slipped between her legs, discovering just how ready and needy she was for him before he lifted her up, away from the bed, laying her on the floor in front of the fireplace, kissing slowly as their bodies connected, arching to be as close as possible as their unique rhythm swept them up in pleasure.

Lucas looked at his wife as he smoothed the hair away from her eyes, resting his forehead against hers just before she cried out his name as her nails dug into his back signaling him to stop holding back.

After a moment, he sat up, pulling Riley into his lap, holding her, trying not to cry. She nuzzled his neck, planting soft kisses, "We can never wait that long for that again." She breathed feeling him hold her tightly as he pushed himself up on his feet.

Riley felt the bounce of the mattress beneath her before the bounce of Lucas joining her on the bed.

"I'm not even near done with you yet." He confessed before his fingers ran up her body, "But first, I wanted to give you an early anniversary present."

"Lucas, you can't wait two days?"

"I'm amazed I waited this long." He reached over to his nightstand, pulling out a large envelope, "I think you'll like this."

Riley licked her lip as she studied it, "What is this Lucas?"

"Open it and find out."

She finally opened it, pulling out what was inside, "Passports?"

"I might have slipped the paperwork in with the kid's school stuff at the start of the year for your signature." He confessed, "Look where we're going on New Year's Day."

Riley gasped, "Lucas, really?"

"It's been ten years Princess, I think it's time we finally take a very long, very overdue honeymoon, don't you?"

She threw her arms around him, "You are the best, how long have you been planning this?"

"Months, years really." He confessed as his finger tilted her chin up, "I kept putting it off, and I knew we shouldn't put it off any longer. The kids are old enough for us to be gone for a little over a week, we've made it ten years, and I know we'll make it another ten, another twenty, another thirty if we're lucky even more."

Riley kissed him eagerly pulling herself as close to him as she could as his arms wrapped around her and he kissed her neck, "There should be more in the envelope."

"This is perfect what else could there be Lucas?"

"Check" he groaned just a little as she pulled away, shaking the envelope and discovering two charms falling onto the bed.

"Lucas Friar, you really don't have to keep doing this, you're spoiling me."

"You deserve to be spoiled, and I don't do it nearly as much as I should." He smiled.

Riley held them up to the light, "A diamond with a ten since it's the modern gift for this anniversary, smooth Friar, very smooth, and another Eiffel tower, but why?"

"Because we started the bracelet with a promise to go to Paris, and I think we should finish it with the fulfillment of that promise."

Riley put her hand over her heart, "You are too good to be true, far too good."

"If I am, it's because you made me want to be this way." He reminded her before she kissed him, pulling him to her once more as they slowly made love.

* * *

" _Can you feel it? Now it's coming back we can steal it. If we bridge this gap, I can see you through the curtains and the waterfall."_

Lucas hit the power button of the stereo on his car aggressively as he pulled up to the dark house. He stayed in his seat, looking out at the ranch, and up at the Texas sky. Wishing this emptiness wasn't engulfing him anymore, each day it felt like he was drowning in it a little bit more.

That song, it was memories of the first time she caused a chip in his heart, he could still see her in that yellow dress, the memory was almost as strong as the one of their first date and that purple dress she wore and their first kiss.

His stomach clutched as he remembered their last kiss in the airport. He punched the steering wheel, it shouldn't have been their last kiss. The should've had thousands upon thousands of kisses over the last decade.

He felt the tears, and what did it matter, ten years later he was still crying about her. He'd lost her the way he always feared he would.

He grabbed his medical bag, and pushed the door open slipping out before slamming it shut as he moved up the steps, looking at the house.

He'd spent every free moment of the past decade renovating it. He'd spent many afternoons shirtless, fixing the roof, building out a bay window, putting in French doors, always feeling his heart skip when he would see an unknown car come up the driveway, hoping, praying it would be Riley.

The house was dark, empty since he lived alone in the five bedroom house; he set his bag down by the door before moving to the kitchen and taking out a frozen dinner before throwing it back in the freezer.

He opened his laptop and did a quick search, running his hand over his hair, his heart pounding, this was it.

Lucas Friar was going to do what he should've done ten years ago.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author Note: So yeah, I thought this was going to be the last chapter, but it's not. So much still is left to happen. I should really learn to stop estimating how long stuff will be, I'm like always wrong.**_

* * *

 **Chapter Ten**

Auggie leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees as he stared at his sister, unconscious after getting knocked over by a police horse. If this had happened to anyone else he wouldn't believe it, but it happened to his sister and she was the only one it ever would.

Ava came in handing him a cup of coffee, "I called your parents, they're on their way. I called Maya and she was so drunk I don't think she even realized that Riley wasn't with her."

Auggie chewed on the inside of his cheek, "My sister has given up so much for that bitch, and this is how she repays her? Doesn't even realize she didn't show up to meet her?"

"I'm sorry" Ava rubbed his shoulder as she looked at Riley, "She hasn't woken up yet?"

"No, not yet, they think she will soon." Auggie's words were unsteady, "I mean what happens if she wakes up and she's a totally different person?"

"Auggie, you're thinking the worst." Ava cupped his chin with her fingers, "The officer said she didn't hit her head on the concrete, she fell on an officer. It's a very Riley thing to do."

He had a small smile, "I just," he sighed, "We fought this morning, about Maya, her future, her happiness, and then look what happens."

"She's going to be fine, that's what the doctors said. All the tests they've run so far show she's actually okay." Ava reminded her husband.

"Riley might be my older sister, but I've always worried about her. She always puts others first, and what has it gotten her?"

"She's a grown woman Auggie, she has to make her own decisions, her own mistakes." Ava pulled up the other chair and sat next to him, "You have to believe she's going to be okay."

"Lucas, come back to bed." Riley's voice dry, dreamy as her body tried to move to cuddle towards someone, only to wrap her arm around the bar of the bed.

Ava looked to Auggie curiously as he moved towards the bed as Riley opened her eyes, he glanced back to his wife who nodded and went to get a doctor.

Riley just wanted to feel her husband's body against hers, "Lucas, where are you?" She groaned before realizing she had her arm draped around the side of a hospital bed.

Her eyes opened greeted to the harsh lighting as she covered her eyes with her hand, "Lucas, what's going on?"

"Riles," Auggie stood near the bed, "It's just Auggie here at the moment."

She kept her hand over her eyes, "Where's my husband, where are my kids?"

Auggie gulped as the doctor and Ava came in.

"Ms. Matthews glad to see you awake." He picked up her chart, "Any pain?"

"It's Mrs. Friar, isn't it?" She removed her hands from her eyes as she looked at her brother, "Please tell me it wasn't all a dream, tell me that I didn't just dream about being married to Lucas, and having children with him."

"I'm sorry Riles" Auggie took her hand, "It was just a dream."

"What happened, why am I in a hospital."

The doctor smiled as he took out his flashlight and examined her, "You were minding your own business when a police horse got spooked, you got knocked back and thankfully another boy in blue was there to break your fall."

"Yeah that sounds like me." She was trying to ignore the way her heart was breaking, the ache that was flooding over her as she answered the questions from the doctor.

"I want to keep you overnight for observation, but Ms. Matthews, you don't appear to have a concussion, you just seemed to have had a shock."

Riley nodded, "That's good, I guess."

"I'll be back in a little while to check on you." The doctor left as Auggie paced back and forth.

"Are Mom and Dad on the way?" Riley twists the sheet around her finger as she tried not to watch her brother.

"Yeah, they are." Auggie stood at the foot of the bed.

"And Maya she's probably off drunk off her ass and doesn't even notice I'm not with her, right?"

Auggie nodded, "Yeah, that would be true."

"You wouldn't happen to know the name of the officer I landed on, I should write a thank you note." Riley sighed.

"You don't have to write me a thank you note, knowing you're okay is thanks enough." He was dressed in an NYPD uniform, tall, dark hair, blue eyes, and a nervous smile.

It took Riley a minute to register who was standing before her, "Charlie Gardner?"

"Yeah, longtime no see and then you fell back into me." He chuckled nervously, "I've never seen Jasmine like that before."

Her eyes went wide, "Jasmine?"

"The horse, that's her name." Charlie took a tentative step towards her, "Um when you're feeling up to it, maybe we could go for coffee, catch up, or maybe drinks."

Riley couldn't believe this was happening, "Um, I can't, my um Husband wouldn't like that."

"Oh, I didn't know you were married."

"Yeah, Lucas, ten years." Riley lied, "three kids Calliope, Lucas-Joseph, and Harper, they're the lights of my life. He's in Texas right now."

"Then that is for sure a no go on the coffee." Charlie sighed, he could've sworn he heard that Riley and Lucas didn't get together years ago, maybe he was wrong. "Well, um, I hope you have a quick recovery, and maybe I'll see you at our next high school reunion."

"Maybe" Riley cringed as she watched him leave before looking to Auggie, "What, it was Charlie and I only like half lied?"

"Riley you're not married, certainly not to Lucas, and I know I don't have any nieces or nephews." Auggie ran his hand through his dark curls, "Do I need to get the doctor back in here?"

"No" Riley grabbed his hand, "It was my dream while I was unconscious, wait if I didn't hit my head, if I landed on Charlie why was I out?"

"They think you passed out when the horse got spooked." Auggie looked at his hand his sister held, "You dreamed about Lucas?"

She nodded, "I mean I dream about him every night, but this, it felt so real Auggie, it wasn't dreamlike at all, it was life. It was the ranch in Texas, three kids, Lucas working as a Veterinarian, I was running the family Christmas tree farm, it was perfection, even when it wasn't perfect, it was still everything I need, everything I want, everything I gave up because my so-called best friend was heartbroken over our Uncle getting engaged to another woman, and instead of living my life, the life I should've had, I've been here, pretending that every single day I don't wake up in an empty bed, trying to ignore the burning ache in my heart."

"What are you saying?" Auggie studied Riley wondering if she finally had the wakeup call she needed or if this was just momentary.

"I uh, I um, I fucked up ten years ago," She blinked away tears, "I shouldn't have stayed here, I should've put what I wanted first ahead of what Maya wanted. I should've gone to Texas, I should've married Lucas, and had a life with him."

Auggie shook his head, "All it took was you getting knocked over by a damn horse to tell you that."

"I'm stubborn, you know that." She reflected as she sat back in the bed, "I just, I guess I have to figure out what I do next."

"Well first you need to stop, and make sure you're really okay." Auggie looked at her, "And then you need to focus on you, before you rush off and do something ridiculous."

"Is it really ridiculous if I get on a plane, fly to Texas and try to win back the man I should've married ten years ago?"

"Didn't you say this morning he's probably married with three kids?"

"He's not." She bit back her smile, "I know Lucas isn't married, because I'm the only woman he would marry, I just know it Auggie."

"Oh Riley, thank God you're okay." Topanga came rushing in with Cory and Ava right behind her.

"Mom" Riley felt her squeeze her tightly, "I'm fine, really I promise I am."

"I just can't believe it attacked by a horse!" Topanga smoothed Riley's hair, "Are you okay, did you hit your head."

"I'm fine, I landed on an officer."

"You landed on an officer?" Cory looked to her with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, Officer Charlie Gardner." Riley sighed.

"And then he hit on her first chance he got." Auggie pointed out.

Topanga and Cory cringed, "What did you say sweetie." Topanga kept her close.

"That my husband wouldn't like it. That I was married to Lucas and had three kids." Riley shrugged, watching her parents look at each other, "I know, but it got him to back off."

"Tell them what you want to do Riley."

"Auggie" Riley snapped.

"What do you want to do Riley?" Cory watched his daughter, wondering what exactly was going on.

"I'm thinking about putting myself, and what I want, what I need, instead of putting what say Maya wants and needs first. I've been doing that my whole life, I lost the only man I've ever loved because of that. I lost a decade with him, I lost whatever life, whatever kids we were going to have." Riley looked down at her hands, "Maybe it's too late for me and Lucas, but I don't believe it is. I haven't ached for him the way I have all these years for it to be too late, for us not to still have a chance."

"I think we can all agree that putting yourself first is a great idea, but maybe don't hop on a plane first ten minutes you're out of the hospital." Topanga warned, "But maybe, make a plan, don't rush."

"Of course, Mom" Riley sighed knowing that sure she could wait a day, maybe two, but first chance she could get on a flight to Texas she would be on it, and she wouldn't even stop at a hotel, no she would go straight to the ranch and find Lucas.

* * *

Farkle Minkus looked at his sleeping wife, amazed she could still be asleep with all the noise of someone banging on their front door downstairs. He grumbled as he slipped out of bed, putting on his slippers after he felt the cold hard wood floor beneath his feet.

Half asleep he moved down the stairs, rubbing his eyes, tugging on his hair just as the doorbell began to ring he swung the door open, startled by what he saw. He wasn't greeted by a distraught Riley, or a drunk Maya, or a police officer with troubling news. No standing on his doorstep was a man he wasn't sure he ever expected to see again in New York City.

"Lucas, what are you doing here?"

"Can I come in, I forgot how fucking cold New York is." He rubbed his hands together as he tried to keep his denim jacket close to his body.

Farkle moved out of the way, watching as Lucas' tall, muscular frame filled the foyer. "You are the last person I anticipated finding this morning."

"Who'd you expect it to be?" Lucas look around, he'd seen the pictures on Facebook and Instagram of course, but seeing the home his friend had created with Isadora in person was something different all together.

Farkle closed the door, watching as Lucas took everything in, "Honestly most likely Maya, lost after a night of drinking."

Lucas turned to him, "That happens enough you expect it?"

Farkle shrugged, "Yeah well, Riley doesn't keep her on a leash or anything, probably should."

Lucas felt the knot in his stomach, had he made a mistake, had he come all this way just to get his heart stomped on. "Are they, um, what is I mean is," he ran his hand over his hair, not sure he could ask him.

"Coffee, we need coffee before you even think to ask what I'm afraid you're trying to ask." Farkle guided him towards the kitchen,

Lucas could feel his body buzzing, what was he thinking, coming here out of nowhere, after a decade, to try and win her back. He was probably a decade too late.

Farkle handed Lucas the mug of coffee, "Before you even ask as far as I am aware Riley and Maya are just friends, co-dependent, toxic, yes, but lovers, never."

Lucas took a long slow sip as he mulled that information over, "What makes you so sure of that?"

Farkle leaned against the counter, really taking in the cowboy in front of him, worn denim jeans, a tight flannel shirt across his chest, a denim jacket that had probably seen more animal births than he would ever want to think about, unshaved but not a full-on beard, eyes filled with a crazy combination of hope and fear. "I've never seen Riley look at Maya that way, not even after more drinks that I care to estimate, and when she's had that many drinks, Maya isn't the name on her lips, yours is."

Lucas felt his heart twist, "She drinks a lot like that?"

"Not really, and when she does she's just trying to keep up with Maya, which no one can." Farkle put his mug down, "Why are you here Lucas, why did you show up on my doorstep on today of all days?"

"It's like there is this vice on my heart, twisting, squeezing, and each day it tightens. It's been like that for what ten fucking years." Lucas squeezed the bridge of his nose as he focused on night crying, he could, he wouldn't cry in Farkle, not after all this time, "I can't do this without her anymore, I don't want to, I never did. What do I have to do to win her back?"

"Do you know what today is?" Farkle crossed his arms over his chest.

"Her birthday, her thirtieth birthday" Lucas picked up his mug taking another sip, "Am I too late Farkle, is there another man?"

"Only if her heart is going clippity clop over the cop that she landed on last night."

"What, what does that mean?"

Farkle rubbed his hands together, "Riley kind of sort of got knocked over by a police horse last night, she's not hurt, she landed on a cop."

Lucas felt his stomach drop, "She landed on another man?"

"Yeah, I only know what Auggie told me last night." He was holding back the tidbit of who the officer was, seeing how amped up Lucas was he knew he didn't need to add the Charlie Gardner fuel to the fire.

"Where is she, I should go to her, I should go see her right now." Lucas was already moving towards the kitchen door.

"Hold up Freak-face" Farkle stopped him, "Calm down first, is this how you want Riley to see you? I'm betting as soon as you got this idea in your head you've been in action mode right? Bought the first plane ticket out here, didn't sleep on the plane right, still wearing what you had on last night. You need to sleep, get cleaned up, where are you staying?"

"I found a hotel room, I checked in, dropped my stuff off, and yeah." Lucas rubbed his chin, "Is this ridiculous?"

Farkle thought back to his phone call with Auggie, he knew what Riley was planning, "I don't think so, listen, like I said that Riley still has your name on her lips, I think though she may never say it out loud she knows she made a mistake when she didn't go to Texas all those years ago. But years of putting Maya ahead of herself, that's got to be a hard habit to break. Are you prepared to finally let go if she can't do that?"

Lucas was silent, where was a tree to kick when he needed it? "If I didn't think it was possible Farkle, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have spent far too much money on a plane ticket just to be here as soon as I could. Last night I got this panic inside of me, I couldn't breathe if I thought about another day without Riley in my life."

"Okay, I mean you're here now for a reason right, so maybe your subconscious knows that her subconscious knows something, I don't know you two always had a weird connection." Farkle bit the inside of his cheek, "We're having a party for her tonight, dress in something you would wear for a date, I guess is the best thing I can tell you. Its tonight starts at seven, but maybe come a little after. I mean I'm pretty sure she's going to be excited to see you, but we never really know do we."

"Who all is going to be there?"

"We, Isadora of course, Riley, Maya, Zay, and lord only knows who Maya has said to drop by cause she always invites a million people that none of us know." Farkle looked around the hallway they stood in, "I guess all I can really say to you is good luck Lucas, I hope that you're not too late, but I really don't know."

"Thank you, if you could just text me the address I'll be there, I think the only thing that could keep me away would be a pack of wild Maya's outside telling me they're lovers, and even then I think I would still fight for Riley."

"You should, you should've ten years ago, why didn't you?"

"Pride, fear, anger, I had so much going on with Pappy Joe and the ranch, I was too afraid I really lost her after everything."

* * *

"You guys I'm fine, the doctor gave me the all clear." Riley reminded her parents after they brought her home from the hospital. "I'm just going to rest, read some magazines, watch bad TV, I'm going to go meet up with my friends, I won't drink, I will come home early and go straight to bed before ten."

"Are you sure Riley, one of us could stay with you." Cory suggested.

"Dad, I'm positive, just go, I'm thirty years old I can take care of myself." Riley opened the door.

"Cory, she's right, she's an adult, the doctor just told her to rest for the day. We shouldn't hover." Topanga warned.

"Fine, but call us if you need us okay. We're only block away."

"I know," Riley smiled, "I'm fine, whatever crazy ideas I was having last night are gone. I promise."

Cory didn't believe her, he had a feeling that by this time tomorrow she would probably be calling from Texas either elated or in tears. "Okay, happy birthday sweetie, just rest."

"I will Daddy, I promise." She closed the door once they were pushed into the hall, locking it, all the locks including the deadbolt as she leaned against it, catching her breath.

She grabbed the bag with her jewelry from the hospital and tore it open as she sat on her couch, she ignored the earrings she'd worn, didn't care about her watch at the moment, she just had to check the charm bracelet, make sure that none of them were missing.

Her fingers ran over each charm, remember the moments when Lucas gave them to her. The Eiffel tower as the first one, a promise of a future trip, a trip she knew in her heart of hearts they would still make. The graduation cap with the year engraved on it. The purple cat for her eighteenth birthday, and the cowboy hat for her nineteenth. The fall leaf for their anniversary senior year of high school, and the star for their anniversary during junior year of college after they'd spent the entire summer in Texas working on the ranch.

She held it up to the light, watching the way the morning sun danced on them, memories, moments, they were all captured here. Her heart ached as she thought of all the moments that were lost, missing, never to happen.

She put the bracelet on the table and grabbed her laptop from the nearby table. She had to follow her heart, she had to follow her gut, she had to find Lucas and win him back.

* * *

Lucas opened his eyes, finding himself in the hotel room, sleeping over the covers still in the clothes he'd been wearing since yesterday. He checked the time on his phone, he saw he had a slew of messages and he realized he hadn't left an out of the office message or anything like that as he started to listen to them.

" _Dr. Friar, it's Mrs. Ellis, I know you've been working every so hard. I'm sending my girl Alice over this afternoon with some casseroles for you, we don't want our favorite veterinarian going without a good meal."_

Lucas rolled his eyes, how many times had he turned Alice down, why was she still going along with her mother's schemes to try to seduce him?

" _Hey Lucas, um it's like seven in the morning, where the hell are you? I thought you were going to help us fix that fence down near that acreage you keep saying is saved for something top secret."_

Lucas sighed hoping that the ranch hands went ahead and fixed the fence, they shouldn't need him to hold their hands to get things done.

" _Dude, Farkle said you showed up at his place early this morning. What the hell are you doing in the city, today of all days. Call me."_

Lucas couldn't help but chuckle when he heard Zay's voice. He tossed his phone back on the bed before he started to strip down, remove the clothes that now felt heavy and desperate with the decision he'd made the night before.

He went into the bathroom, starting the shower and pulling his boxer briefs off along with his socks before getting under the hot spray. He leaned against the shower wall, his mind flooded with images from the dream he'd had that morning. Riley and him, married, three beautiful children, attempting to make love in the shower.

Lucas would be lying to himself if he said he didn't think about the days, the nights, all the time lost, the children they could've had by now.

He gripped the shower wall, this had to work, he had to win Riley back. He didn't know what he could or would do if he didn't.

He washed away the negative thoughts before turning the shower off and wrapping the hotel towel around him. He studied himself in the mirror, his beard a little ragged and rough, should he go for a clean shave or just clean it up?

After several moments of hemming and hawing he decided to trim it, he was a grown man it might feel a bit weird to be a bit baby-faced after all these years.

He gelled his hair, trying to make sure it didn't look like he was trying. His stomach was in a knot, this had to work right, he couldn't lose her again.

Lucas dug through his bag, putting on a pair of clean jeans, a black V-neck, and a blue cardigan sweater. He felt his heart racing, tonight was going to be a moment he would remember forever, no matter what the outcome was.

He dug in his bag pulling out the black box, he opened the lid studying the charms he'd collected over the years. He couldn't explain why he was drawn to them, especially since it would seem like such random times of the year to even think of them. He picked up the carousel horse, then the basketball, the harp, and finally the angel. He wished he knew why he had to give these to Riley, the others he'd collected could wait, but not matter what these four were ones that she had to have.

He checked the time again, his body filling with nervous energy as the text came in from Farkle to tell him where Riley's party was going to be.

He grabbed his jacket, he was on a mission, time to win back the love of his life, if it wasn't too late.

* * *

Riley stood outside the restaurant, her heart racing as she thought about her plans, tonight could very well be her last night in New York.

"Riley" Maya cried before throwing her arms around her and hugging her tightly, she was giggling, swaying just a little bit, obviously, she'd hit up happy hour with the other girls from the gallery.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Peachy" Maya smiled as her hand stroked Riley's face lovingly, "Where were you last night. You never showed up."

"I was in the hospital, Auggie or Ava called you." Riley could feel whatever thread that had been keeping them entwined all these years close to snapping.

Maya thought for a moment, "Oh that was you, I thought you were just ditching me."

Riley was about to say something when Zay came up "Two of my favorite ladies, Happy Birthday Riley."

"Thank you Zay." Hugging him, "Where's the wife?"

"Migraine, she insisted I come out, but I don't think I'll stay long." He explained just as Farkle and Isadora arrived.

"It's so good to see all of you." Riley looked at her friends, hugging them all, "You okay Farkle?"

"Yeah, I am, I'm glad you're okay." He told her as they went into the restaurant before talking to the host for the table.

Once they were all seated Riley began to look over the menu as the waiter arrived, "Could I get a Coca-Cola" she ordered to drink then immediately heard Maya order a cocktail while everyone else stuck to soft drinks.

"So, Riley what exactly happened last night?" Isadora looked up from her menu, knowing they needed to kill time before Lucas arrived.

Riley put her menu down, "You know I'm not even sure I could explain it." She removed her jacket as she spoke, the jingling sound of her charm bracelet catching Farkle's attention. "I was on my way to meet Maya, and I guess something spooked a police horse and I was right in front of it. I like passed out, fell on an officer. You will never believe who."

"Well we know it wasn't the cowboy." Maya giggled and rolled her eyes thankful they hadn't had to deal with Lucas in years.

Riley ignored Maya, "It was Charlie Gardner, he hit on me in the hospital." She sat back in her seat, looking down at the charms, "When I was out, I had this dream about Lucas, the life we could've had, it felt so real. When Charlie asked me out I was like, _nope married to Lucas._ "

Farkle sucked back a smile, his foot bouncing nervously, "What else happened in this dream world of yours?"

Riley looked around, "Well you and Zay were married to each other."

Zay had been taking a sip of water, started to choke before Isadora could slap him on the back, "Stay away from my husband homewrecker!"

"What the hell Riley?"

"It was a dream, lots of weird stuff happened in it, but it did feel very real. At least me and Lucas, the kids." She felt her hand shaking so she folded them on put them on her lap.

Maya downed most of her cocktail that had just arrived as the waiter took everyone's meal orders, and once he was gone she looked at Riley, "Why are you dreaming about Huckleberry, it's been ten years. He was trash then he was always going to be trash."

The entire group stared at Maya shocked.

They were silent, no one knew what to say.

Riley rose from her seat, looking down at the woman she had always considered her best friend, her sister, "Lucas was never trash, he isn't trash." She took a deep breath, knowing this was it, this was the moment, "What is trash is you not even giving a damn that I was in the hospital. What if I had been actually injured? Would you care, if you did would it only be because the person who saves you wasn't around to save you from yourself? How fucking selfish can you be?"

Riley was visibly shaking, and Maya was only half paying attention to what was happening as she tried to signal to the waiter for another drink. Riley grabbed the glass and slammed it onto the table and stared into Maya's blue eyes, "You have a problem, you've pickled yourself in alcohol for the last decade, and why, because Josh married someone else, because you have unrequited feelings for me, or because you just need to be a mess so that I would stick around?"

Farkle's eyes were wide and he grabbed Isadora's hand, praying that Lucas didn't show up in the middle of this.

Riley felt herself huff, "You treat me like I'm invisible until you need me, and if I don't do things the way you want me to than it doesn't matter. You use me Maya, and I have let you. Never again, not anymore. Get your shit together, deal with your fucking problems, grow up, you're thirty years old for crying out loud. You've used and abused me for the last time, I made a mistake ten years ago, I let you get into my head, you always get into my head and make me think Lucas isn't good enough for me. No more, I'm done letting you control my life this way. I'm done letting you overshadow me and try to control me like some demented puppet master. The strings are cut, you and I are no longer friends, I'm not sure we ever were."

Maya could only blink and stare as Riley gathered her purse and coat looking to her friends, "I'm sorry, this isn't how I wanted this night to go. I wanted us to all have fun together."

"You make it sound like you're leaving us all." Zay studied her.

Riley pulled her coat on over her purple dress, pausing for a moment to pick up her purse, "I've decided that I need to fight for what I want, what I need."

"What would that be?" His voice cut through the air, and everyone turned to look at him.

Riley put her hand over her heart as it raced, her eyes had to be playing with her, this couldn't be real, he couldn't be right here in front of her. "Lucas" she barely breathed his name before she was moving around the table towards him.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Author Note: Okay, here it is the last chapter. Thank you so much for reading, all the lovely comments, everything. Xoxoxoxo I'm always available on Tumblr and Twitter if you have any questions or just want to say Hey.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

He watched as she tried to hold back the smile on her face as she moved towards him around the table, "Riley, happy birthday."

"What are you, why?" she searched his face, this was the face that had greeted her in her dream.

He gave her a nervous smile, "I um," he scratched the back of his neck, "I came to take you home."

Riley closed her eyes, feeling the tears before she looked up at him, "Take me home, please."

He reached out for her hand, taking it in his, peace swept through his body when they touched. Neither spoke as they walked out of the restaurant.

Maya looked around at everyone, "What just happened?"

"Well Maya, I think Riley just picked herself over you for once in her life and she's going to Texas with Lucas." Zay explained sure that's what happened.

Maya scoffed, "Oh please she'll never go to Texas."

* * *

Riley gave the cab driver her address as she and Lucas sat in the backseat holding hands. She had a million things she wanted to say, and a feeling that he had a million things to say as well. When they arrived in front of her building Lucas paid and then followed her inside.

She unlocked her door, flipping on the lights, taking a step forward and tripping, feeling Lucas catch her. "Thank you."

"Anytime, but why do you have suitcases piled up in front of your door like this?" He knew that she could give him a thousand different reasons, different answers, but he felt as his heart seemed to have stopped beating as he waited for the only answer he wanted, needed to hear.

Riley looked down at the ground, licking her lips, running her hands through her curled hair before removing her coat revealing her purple dress.

Lucas gasped when he saw her.

"What?" She blinked as she studied him, watching him remove his jacket, "Whoa."

"What?" Lucas closed the door and took a step towards her, "You're dressed very much like you were for our first date."

"So are you." She blinked back tears, "This is just you and me Lucas, you didn't show up tonight to take me back to my apartment did you."

He put his jacket over the pile of suitcases, "When I said I came to take you home, I didn't mean here." He looked around, finding it odd there were no picture frames and boxes were filled with her books. "I meant Texas, I meant the ranch, where we should've been together for the past ten years, but we haven't."

"You came all the way here," she stepped towards him, her hands finding their way to his forearms as she looked up into his eyes, "to try and convince me to go to Texas and…be your wife?"

His lips quivered, "If you'll have me, is their someone else?"

She gently shook her head, "No one else, never, ever, you and Mrs. Ellis' daughter Alice haven't had a thing, have you?"

"How do you know about Mrs. Ellis trying to set me up with Alice?"

Riley pulled away, "It was in the dream I had last night after I got knocked over by a horse."

"I heard something about that. What did you dream?"

"I dreamed of you and me, together, in Texas, with our three children. Mrs. Ellis waiting out our marriage so that Alice could snag you." Riley sat on her couch.

"Alice has no chance with me, my heart has belonged to you since the seventh-grade Riley." He sat next to her, picking up her hand to his lips and kissing it. "It looks like you've already made plans to go somewhere, I know that when you decide something you go with it all the way."

"I have a flight to Austin tomorrow." She confessed watching the way his eyes widened and his lips turned up, "I realized I couldn't keep pushing aside my feelings for you, the life we should've had."

"So, you want to come to Texas, to the ranch, to me?"

Riley nodded as she sat on her knees, her hand caressing his cheek, watching the way his eyes fluttered shut and he leaned into her touch, "You Lucas Merlin Friar are the love of my life, I made a mistake ten years ago, not going to Texas to be with you, its eaten away at me every single day since. If you really want me as your wife, you get me."

His heart was racing as he sat up straighter, covering her hand with his, "You want me as your husband?"

"I always have."

"As the father of your children?"

"No one else could ever be their father."

"You want to run the ranch with me and maybe"

"Friar Family Christmas Tree Farm, yes."

His mouth hung open, "I haven't told anyone about that?"

"My dream, that's what we did, we worked hard to make it a success, for ourselves the kids, Pappy Joe and Mama Betty, their memories."

Lucas pulled her close, "I'm not going to wake up and find out this is a dream am I?"

"No this is real, I promise you." She let her lips drop onto his, feeling the immediate pull of his arms wrapping around her and pulling her onto his lap.

His hands splayed her back as he felt her settle onto his lap. His body flooded with everything he'd missed, he broke the kiss to taste her neck and nibble her ear, "I missed you, I dreamed of you, life without you is like a faded black and white movie in desperate need of restoration."

Riley pulled away, "Tomorrow, we'll go back to Texas, and we'll figure out when to get married."

"Christmas Day." He breathed as her forehead rested on his.

"And we'll plant a tree as the first for the tree farm." She smiled.

"Exactly" He kissed her, his fingers combing her hair, "And we'll honeymoon in Paris."

"You promise?"

"I do." He felt her kiss his forehead as she went to the pile of suitcases and opened the smallest one, taking out the red box. "Riley, what is it?"

"You gave me this," She sat back down next to him, "I could never bring myself to send it back to you, I don't know why."

"Because we needed it here, right now." He took the box and removed the ring, "I remember picking this out, I took Auggie with me after a baseball practice. The moment I saw this, I knew you were meant to wear it."

Riley felt her hands shaking as Lucas took hold of her left one and slipped the ring on, "It still fits."

He kissed her hand near the ring, "I actually do have something for you, it's in my jacket."

Riley pulled away, "You didn't have to get me anything."

He smiled as he pulled the box out, "I um, I couldn't help but notice you're wearing the charm bracelet."

Riley covered it with her hand, "I was drawn to it last night and just had to put it on, it sat in my jewelry box for years."

"Over the last decade, I can't explain it, there would be these days when I was just drawn to buy certain charms. I have more in Texas, but these four, I can't explain it Riley, but no matter what happened when I saw you tonight, I knew you had to have them." He sat back down handing her the box.

"Whatever these are, I think it's the absolute sweetest thing that you continued to get these all this time." She removed the lid of box, almost dropping it when she saw what was inside, "Oh my God."

"Riley, are you okay?"

She pulled out the first charm, "Calliope," and the second, "Lucas-Joseph," the third, "Harper," and the last one, "Kevin." She blinked back the tears, "In my dream, these charms, these _exact_ charms were the ones you gave me for our children."

"How many children did we have?" He could see the sadness sweeping over her.

"Three, in my dream life wasn't perfect, we'd lost a child before he was born, Kevin. Our perfect little angel." She looked at the charms, "Do you remember when you bought these?"

Lucas thought for a moment picking up the first one, "August maybe, nine years ago."

"That's when Calliope would've been born." She could feel her heartbeat, "Let me guess, seven years ago, in the spring, right?"

He nodded as he took the harp charm, "Five years ago, February."

Riley looked at the angel charm, "And this one."

Lucas took it from her, "I had this insane ache for weeks, I couldn't explain it, I was in Austin picking up something for my Mother's birthday, I saw this and the ache felt like it started to fade, as if I acknowledge some sort of pain I didn't know I felt."

She didn't speak as she took the charms from him, putting them in the box and then on the coffee table. "I don't know if I can ever find the words that will really, truly, express how I feel about you, how much I need you, want you, love you. I'm sorry I made us wait ten years for this."

"To be fair Riley, I didn't rush up here to throw you over my shoulder and take you to Texas before tonight."

"Is that what you were planning to do?"

"Not exactly" her smirked with a wink, "I was just going to ask you to come home with me, and be my wife, which I did."

"And I will, when's your return flight?"

"Tomorrow, I knew I couldn't stay here for long if you rejected me."

Her fingers traced the line of his beard, "It wasn't you I ever rejected, it was me, but no more. You and Me, the family we will have, that's everything to me."

"What about your job?"

"It's not important, not when I can finally have the life I want, the life I've always wanted."

He pulled her onto his lap, "You really want to help run a ranch and start a Christmas Tree farm with me?"

"Yeah, I do, and help you with the books for your practice, and have your babies, and make award winning sheet cake."

"That's a tall order."

"I can handle it all." She felt him kiss her, she let her fingers drop to his sweater, clutching it, "Lucas, I might combust if you don't touch me and make love to me soon."

"I didn't want to rush you." He held her protectively before he rose from the couch, carrying her towards the bedroom, "I've dreamt of this for a decade Riley, I might have to take my time."

She pushed the bedroom door open with her foot, "Take all the time you need Dr. Friar" he placed her down and she pulled her hair up so he could unzip her dress.

"Though I'll confess Riley, I might combust as well."

She felt his fingertips against her bare back as he unzipped the dress and she pushed it off her shoulders so it would fall to the ground. He unclasped her bra, watching as the purple lace fell to the ground with the dress and Riley stood in front of him in just her panties and heels.

Lucas gasped when she turned to him, the streetlights washing over her body as he took a step back, shedding his sweater, pulling his t-shirt off, before he felt her hands undoing the button and zipper of his jeans pushing them down.

His heart was pounding as he felt just the tips of her fingers grazing his legs. Here they were; alone, in just their underwear as they both pushed off their shoes, trying to keep eye contact with the other.

Riley bit her lower lip as she reached out to touch his chest, hard muscle defined by years of working the ranch, renovating a house, looking for distractions. She closed her eyes, "This isn't all just mucking stalls, is it?"

He smirked, "A lot of carpentry work." He pulled her against him, "You'll see tomorrow night when we get home."

"Home is wherever you are." She snaked her arms around his neck, her fingers in his short hair before their lips connected in a kiss.

Lucas lifted her up, feeling her legs wrap around him as he moved the few steps towards the bed. He placed her down, breaking the kiss as he moved his hands down her body, feeling the electricity between them as he removed her panties and then kissed his way down her legs to her core.

Riley was dizzy from his touch, lost in every sensation, cursing herself that she'd denied herself this pleasure for a decade just as she felt his tongue and fingers performing magic on her. She gripped the comforter as he quickly brought her to heaven, her body throbbing for more of him as he kissed her.

She could feel his own need pressing against her body as she pushed his boxer briefs away, her fingers wrapping around him.

"Careful Princess" he moaned, not sure how long he could hold back.

She adjusted her position under him opening herself to him, her eyes locked with his as she nodded for him to take her.

Lucas gulped as he guided himself into Riley, feeling her welcoming heat and wetness stretching for him. "Are you okay?" he looked deep into the chocolate eyes he'd feared he'd never get to see clouded with pleasure again.

"Yes" she breathed before she felt him start their dance, she clung to him as her body arched in passion, feeling another wave of bliss sweeping over her body as the moans, grunts, cries of passion spilled from the both.

His fingers knotted in her hair as he crashed into her one final time, releasing all he had for her.

Riley ran her fingers down his chest; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight she counted before gazing into his eyes, "That was, combustible."

"Yes, it was" he took her hand in his, their fingers entwining, "We did, I wasn't planning for us to have sex tonight."

"I wasn't planning on it either, you are the only man I've ever been with."

"You're the only woman I've ever been with."

"You mean Alice Ellis didn't seduce you?"

He furrowed his brow, "Never, no one could ever seduce me but you."

"In my dream, I had last night, her mother was pushing her towards you."

Lucas chuckled, "She is, she will be, when we get home tomorrow I wouldn't be surprised if they're waiting on the porch with a pile of casseroles."

"They'll just have to take them home with them. I plan on being the only woman making you a home cooked meal."

Lucas ran his hands over her hair, "You don't have to be some step-ford wife."

"Oh, I won't be, I can promise you that." She smirked, "But we'll have homecooked meals, children running around, we'll work hard because we'll love what we do."

"That must've been some dream." He brushed her dark tendrils from her eyes.

"It was, but you, holding me, is a million times better." She kissed his neck before starting a trail down his chest, feeling his golden chest hair against her lips.

Lucas pulled her up kissing her, holding her close, "Every night Riley, I'll hold you while we sleep."

She looked at him dreamily, "I know you will."

* * *

Lucas woke, reaching for Riley but finding her side of the bed empty but he could hear the shower going. He smirked thinking of joining her when he heard someone banging on her door erratically. He pulled on his boxer briefs, before finding his jeans on the ground.

He braced himself to deal with Maya as he opened the door.

"Okay Riley, now I know you're going to do something crazy." Her father started talking, looking at the ground before up, "Oh boy."

"Hi Mr. Matthews" Lucas crossed his arms over his bare chest.

Cory was quiet as he pushed past Lucas, he saw the suitcases by the door, and he looked around the apartment, "What are you doing here?" he finally hissed.

Lucas gulped, "I came to bring Riley home."

Cory stared at the man in front of him, "Did she call you?"

Lucas shook his head, "No I just knew that I couldn't live without your daughter in my life another day. I arrived yesterday morning, Farkle told me to wait until her party last night."

"You spent the night?"

"We're getting married on Christmas day." Where were his shoes, could Cory steal them from him?

"That's fast."

"We've been apart for a decade sir." Crap why was his shirt in the bedroom.

"You've both changed over that time."

"No matter what experiences Riley or I have had over the last decade, it doesn't change the fact that I love your daughter. I've known for a very long time I want to marry her, have a life with her." Lucas took a step towards Cory, "I've spent a decade aching for her, for the life we can have. I will do anything and everything I can to make her happy."

Cory sighed, "I know you can, I know you will." He went to the window looking out at the city, "I'm just going to miss her."

"You'll be visiting us in Texas all the time, until you and Topanga finally move down because you'll want to be around your grandchildren." Lucas grinned, "You'll be an awesome Grandfather."

"He's right Dad, you'll be a great Pappy Cory." Riley came in with her bathrobe on.

"Pappy Cory?" Both men asked.

"Yeah, Pappy Cory and Birdie, that's what you and Mom will be."

Cory started laughing, "Your mother is so not going for that one."

"I mean she can always make a bet with Reva over if our first child is a boy or a girl, but Mom will lose." Riley shrugged, "Hi Daddy."

"First off Topanga doesn't lose." Cory watched his daughter as she acted like it was perfectly normal for Lucas to be shirtless in her apartment, "Second of all I thought you weren't going to just run off to Texas."

"Would you have left me alone yesterday when you brought me home if I told you I was going to buy a plane ticket to Texas and pack up my suitcases?"

"No, I wouldn't have." Cory sighed, "You're really doing this, aren't you?"

"Yup, I'm wearing the ring again, Christmas day, we're going to get married on the ranch. I was going to call you and Mom today, to tell you."

"And what are you doing to do for work in Texas, huh? Can you support my daughter and children?" Cory looked to Lucas.

"I have a thriving practice, the ranch is owned in full, um money in the bank, more than enough for a Paris honeymoon, and to be comfortable for quite a long time. Though there is a small business I would like to open, and Riley is up for the challenge."

"What kind of business, what are you two getting into?"

"Friar Family Christmas Tree Farm, it'll take a few years to grow the trees, but that gives us a little time to get the kids part of our life going." Riley stood next to Lucas, "Dad, you knew the story, you knew eventually we'd get together, even after all this time, didn't you?"

"Of course, I knew you would" Cory sighed sitting on the couch, "You're going to leave for Texas today?"

"Yeah, our flight is late this afternoon." Riley explained, "Um, I um talked to Sherri yesterday and resigned."

"Before you saw Lucas?"

Riley looked to her future husband, "Yeah, I knew that I was going to be with him, if I had to fight off Alice Ellis, I would."

"And you would win, I might've resisted at first, but you would always win." Lucas reached out taking her hand.

"Oh, do the two of you really know what you're getting into?"

"Yes Dad, we know, we've talked and we'll keep talking, and we know some days it won't be easy, we know some days it will be hard, but we're ready to do this, to be together. If we weren't, we wouldn't be here right now, together."

Cory looked at the couple, the way they just easily fell in step with each other, "I'll tell your Mom, we'll book tickets because you know we're not missing your wedding, and I'm sure Topanga will make sure good movers are hired to pack up the rest of this and move it where it needs to go."

"Thanks Daddy." Riley gave him a hug, "I'm going to finish getting dressed, Lucas you probably need to get your stuff from the hotel right, you could probably run and do that, just bring it back here, and then we could get to the airport after."

"That is a great idea, I'm going to um, get my shirt, sweater, shoes, and yeah." Lucas nervously left to return to the bedroom.

He could hear Riley and Cory, it didn't sound as though they were arguing. The last thing he would ever want to do was come between her and her family.

"Dad is, well Dad." Riley returned to the bedroom grabbing the clothes she'd laid out the night before, "Everything is going to be okay, I know it will."

Lucas tilted her chin up before giving her a quick kiss, "It will, I'll be back soon, I promise."

"I know you will." Riley ran her thumb over his lips, "Just watch out for rogue police horses, you don't want to get knocked on the ass by one, trust me."

Lucas chuckled as he grabbed his jacket, and slipped on his shoes before giving her a long kiss, "I love you Riley Emily Matthews."

"I can't wait to be Riley Emily Friar."

"Soon." He gave her a final peck on the lips before leaving to return to his hotel.

* * *

Maya stood outside of Riley's apartment, she had a pounding headache which was normal she figured as she put her sunglasses up as if they were a headband before she began to knock on the door.

No one answered.

She knocked again.

Still no answer.

"Riley Matthews come on open up!" Maya cried from the hallway, "I know you're mad at me, but come on, we've been besties forever."

"She's not in there Maya." Topanga was behind her in the hall her arms full of flat cardboard boxes.

Maya stared at her confused, "Where is she?"

"Right now, the airport, she's going to Texas."

"I have to stop her." Maya started to move past Topanga who stopped her.

"No, you need to let her do this." Topanga put the boxes down, "Riley needs to go to Texas, she needs to be with Lucas, and you need to figure out how to be okay with that."

"But _I_ need her, I need her more than that hop along ever could."

"You don't need her." Topanga took Maya by the arms and considered the younger woman's red-blue eyes. "You need to stand on your own. You need to get your mess together Maya. Riley put her life, her heart on hold for ten years to be here for you. Let her put herself first for once in her life."

"I can't let her get hurt by him again." Maya tried to rationalize as she struggled to get out of Topanga's grip.

Topanga realized this was a moment she had hoped would never have to come, "Lucas was never the one to hurt Riley, you were, time and again, you were the root cause of her pain. You can't make her stay Maya, you can't force her to come back here. They're getting married, they'll have children. They're going to build a life together."

"Not if I have anything to say about it."

"Maya, you don't have anything to say about." Topanga released her, watching as Maya glared at her before rushing down the hall, knowing that whatever destructive activity she was about to partake in, no one would be able to stop her, not even Riley.

* * *

"The last time we were here we were saying goodbye." Lucas reminded Riley as they checked in their bags.

"But this time _we_ are going home." She took his hand as the moved past a guy dressed as Santa collecting change.

"I hope you got your Christmas wish." He called out when Lucas dropped a handful of change into the bucket.

Riley felt a chill as she looked back, something familiar about the voice.

"You okay Ri?"

"Yeah, more than okay." She squeezed his hand as they got in line for security.

* * *

"Part of me can't believe this is real." Lucas told her as he pulled the truck into the driveway.

"It's real Lucas" She covered his hand with hers as they went up the long driveway, the sun was setting just beyond the house. "Is that the house?"

"Yeah, like I said I renovated it over the years. Do you like it?" His heart pounded, what if she hated everything he had done?

"This is almost exactly how it looked in my dream." She couldn't believe it as he parked the truck and she hopped out to explore the porch, "I mean in my dream there were toys from the kids all over the place, but this is it. These are the same flowers, that's the same set of French doors, the window where we'll put the Christmas tree. How, why did you do all of this?"

Lucas grabbed their bags from the bed of the truck, smiling as he watched her. "The house needed to be updated, I needed a project, and I kept asking myself, what would Riley want, and then I'd do it."

She rushed down the stairs throwing her arms around him, "It's perfect Lucas, you are perfect, any woman would be a fool not to see that. I am so very lucky you didn't let another woman into your heart."

Lucas lifted her up, an arm under her knees as he carried her up the stairs, "It's been yours for all our lives, before we met it belonged to you."

"You better watch it with the flowery words Doc, a woman might get used to them, she might crave them."

Lucas put her down to unlock the door, only to find it already done. "That's weird, I'm sure I locked it, unless Dylan came in the house for something."

"Does he do that often?"

"Sometimes," Lucas heard laughter from the house, he felt Riley right behind him as they moved towards the kitchen.

This was not how Riley expected to first set foot in her new home, but she knew Lucas would protect her.

"Now Alice make sure you sign that note with a heart so Lucas knows you made these with love." Mrs. Ellis' voice slipped in the air.

Riley saw Lucas sigh as he stood back, she moved in front of him. "Excuse me ladies, who the hell are you and what are you doing in _my_ kitchen?"

Mrs. Ellis stood tall, "I'm sorry sugar, but who the hell are you?"

"The future Mrs. Lucas Friar, Riley. This is my kitchen, so I'd like to know who you are and what you two think you're doing here, along with how you got in." Riley put her hands on her hips and stared the older woman down before she looked to the younger woman, she was as tall as Riley, long yellow-blonde hair just like Maya, pouty lips, and pale gray eyes.

"Mama wouldn't leave Dylan alone until he let us into the house. It was her idea," Alice stammered, "I told you Mama he had a girlfriend somewhere!"

"Shut up Alice" Mrs. Ellis moved towards Riley, "If you're his fiancé, when did the two of you meet?"

"First day of school, seventh grade, I fell in his lap on the subway." Riley lifted her left hand to push her hair out of her eyes, making sure her engagement ring caught her eye, "Now, Mrs. Ellis, you and Alice can pack up all this food, take it back home, to a church social, some other poor sucker of a single man in this county, and get off this property before I call the Sheriff to escort you off."

"Why you little b—"

"I wouldn't finish that sentence Mrs. Ellis, I would do as Riley suggests." Lucas had been stunned watching Riley before he moved in behind her.

Mrs. Ellis huffed as she stared at Riley, "You will never be accepted around here."

"Oh, I doubt that," Riley took several casseroles and piled them back into Mrs. Ellis' arms, "Let's not see each other again until the sheet cake bake off."

"Mama makes the best sheet cake in the county." Alice gathered the other dishes as she followed her mother to the door.

"We'll see about that." Riley followed them to the door, slamming it shut after them, hearing Mrs. Ellis swearing about the nasty New Yorker.

Lucas stared at Riley, "Wow, I'm not sure what to think about that."

"In my dream, she was waiting for me to leave you to get Alice with you." Riley leaned against the door, "She isn't like a major account, patient for you, is she?"

Lucas shook his head, "One cat, which I'm pretty sure they got as an excuse to come by my office."

Riley nodded, closing her eyes for a second, "Let's forget about them, and I want to see our house."

Lucas took her hand, "Well living room in here, over here we have a dining room, and an office that I never use, I guess I always pictured you in there. The kitchen of course, which is yes yours."

She squeezed his hand, "I love it, this is amazing Lucas, this is everything I could've asked for."

"Upstairs, we have the bedrooms," he led her to the staircase, "Um, I mean we've got five bedrooms, but four are of course empty, for now."

Riley took in how the walls were bare, the bedroom doors didn't have any stickers, or names on them.

Lucas opened the bedroom door, "Okay, what do you think?"

Riley smiled, "Just how it was in my dream."

"That was some dream." He came up behind her "What exactly happened in it?"

"Life, us, together, with three kids, busy with life on the ranch, the tree farm, attempting to make love, always being foiled by the kids." She giggled when she felt his lips behind her ear, "We did finally get alone time, right before I woke up in the hospital."

"Well, you know" Lucas moved down her neck with kisses, "We're still childless for now, and we do have like a decade to make up for."

"We do, but first we should bring our bags inside."

Lucas sighed, "Fine, let's get them and then you're all mine."

"I already am." She giggled before he kissed her.

* * *

"Farkle open up" Maya cried as she rang his doorbell continually.

The door flew open, "What the hell Maya, what's your malfunction."

"We have to get her back, he stole her, he took her to Texas." Maya's body bounced with nervous energy as she looked up at one of her oldest friends.

"Dude what's going on?" Zay came up behind Farkle, "Oh hey Maya."

"Well how do we get Riley back, I need her."

The two men looked to each other, communicating without words before Farkle turned back to Maya, "You don't, Riley is where she belongs."

"No, she belongs here with me. I need her more than Lucas ever will."

"But she needs Lucas, and he needs her." Zay explained, "And you need yourself, you need to stand on your own Maya."

She ran her hands through her hair, "Why is no one willing to help me drag her back here?"

"Because she doesn't want to be dragged back here."

"She wants to be with Lucas."

"She put her happiness, her life on hold to be here for you, and all it did was cause her pain." Farkle explained to her, "You need to figure out your own mess, and maybe after a while you two can be friends, but I think you have a lot of work on yourself to do before then."

"And you have to be willing to figure out who Maya is." Zay chimed in, "Look at you, thirty years old and throwing a hissy fit because your best friend is happy."

"She'll never be happy with him, she can only be happy with me."

"She hasn't been happy for the last decade Maya, you've been too selfish to see it." Farkle leaned against the door, "I think you should go now."

"Where should I go Farkle?"

"AA, Betty Ford, Promises, somewhere, anywhere, get help, find yourself, travel, but whatever you do, leave Riley and Lucas alone." Farkle took a deep breath and closed the door, locking the deadbolt when he did before turning to Zay.

"You did what you had to do." Zay placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Thanks man, let's get back to the wives."

* * *

"I never thought this was going to happen." Reva stood near Topanga as everyone was gathered under the oak tree in the front yard as Riley and Lucas exchanged vows on the unexpectedly warm Christmas morning.

"I was sure it would've happened sooner." Topanga watched as Riley slipped a ring on Lucas' finger.

"So, which will we get first, a grandson or granddaughter?" Reva smirked.

"Grandson for sure." Topanga was confident, "I'm so sure, that I'll say we make a bet, winner gets to be called Grandma, and gets to pick whatever name the other goes by."

"Oh, you're on because those two are going to bless us with a Granddaughter first." The two mothers shook on it just as Riley and Lucas kissed.

"What did you just do?" Cory gasped to Topanga, "You're going to end up called Birdie and I'm gonna be Pappy Cory."

Topanga rolled her eyes, "Honey that is ridiculous."

* * *

 **Five years later**

Riley stood by the bedroom window, gently soothing her daughter Cora as she looked out at the ranch, "Out far off in the distance is the Christmas Tree farm, we're opening for sales this November."

The bedroom door opened, "The twins are down Persephone and JB are asleep, and I regret ever showing them _Frozen_."

"The sky's awake, still right?" Riley smirked as she put Cora in the crib before laying down on the bed next to her husband.

"Something like that why did I ever show them that movie?" he groaned before rolling onto his side, "How's our little Princess?"

"Sleeping now." Riley sighed moving closer to him, "think she's ready to meet her cousins tomorrow?"

"I think she's as ready to meet Albert Minkus, Jade Babineaux, and Archie Matthews." Lucas chuckled, "Well as ready as anyone could be."

"True." Riley's eyes fluttered shut, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Making my dreams come true." She took his hand, feeling the comfort of his fingers slipping between hers.

"Then I have to thank you for that as well." He kissed her forehead, "Get some sleep honey, I'll get Cora when she wakes up first, okay."

"Thank you. Just don't sneak a piece of that sheet cake, it's for the bake-off tomorrow at church." She mumbled before falling asleep.

Lucas watched as Riley drifted off, before he slipped out of bed and sat next to the crib watching his youngest child sleeping.

When Cora woke up Lucas gathered her quickly, "hey Princess, you hungry, let's get you some formula and let Mommy sleep a little bit."

Cora's eyes were wide as Lucas spoke, cradling her as he took her downstairs to the kitchen.

"You have the best Mommy in the world, and she makes the best sheet cake in the county, maybe the state, when you're older you'll get to know what I mean." He told her as he took the prepared bottle from the fridge and put in the warmer. "Your older sister and brother, they're a little jealous of you since you get so much of Mommy's attention, but you know what I have a feeling you little Cora Harper Friar are going to be a Daddy's girl."

Riley stood by the kitchen door watching her husband, "You sure about that?"

"Yes" he looked to her, "You can go back to bed, I've got her."

"I know, but I'm hungry." Riley opened the fridge and took out a container from the back and taking out a sandwich."

"You know what goes really well with sandwiches?" Lucas wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Riley opened the fridge and dug out another container sliding it to him across the counter, "You win, I put that aside for you."

"See I told you best Mommy." Lucas looked down to Cora.

Riley came over, taking Cora from him, "Come to Mommy, Daddy is about to be in Chocolate heaven."

Lucas took the bottle from the warmer and tested it, "Princess Cora is hungry, cake can wait."

"Oh, we found his soft spot, cake can wait for you, cake can't even wait for Mommy." Riley put Cora back in Lucas' arms as he began to feed her, watching while she ate her sandwich.

"Is this how you saw us, when you would dream about us, or fantasize about our life together?" He watched as Cora drank down her formula.

"Sort of, yeah, this is what I saw for us in a way."

"Good, this is how I saw us as well."

"The twins were a surprise." Riley admitted as she pulled a clean fork out from the drawer, "but, I wouldn't have it any other way. You, me, the kids, the ranch, the Christmas Trees, it's everything I could've ever wished for."

Lucas gave her a quick peck on the lips before he saw her lean over and take a bite of the cake, "Hey!"

Riley smirked, "You knew we'd share."

Lucas moved Cora to burp her as he watched his wife, "Of course, I knew."

"Here" She took a forkful of cake and brought it to his lips watching as he took the bite. "Good boy, you're such a good eater."

Lucas smirked as he chewed, "Well your award-winning sheet cake how could I not be."

"Come on Cora, let's get back to bed, we have a busy and exciting day tomorrow." Riley took her daughter in her arms, "Let's give Daddy some quiet time, while we get some sleep."

"I had enough quiet time while I watched you both sleeping." He confessed, "I'm going to check on Persephone, and then on JB and come to bed after I clean up down here."

"Thank you, I'll save space for you on the bed."

Lucas smiled as he watched them go up the stairs, some days he couldn't believe it was all real, after all the years of aching for each other, they were here, married, parents, a real wish come true.

When he cleaned up he stepped out onto the back porch, looking up at the clear night sky, stepping out into the backyard, looking up as Riley stood in the window getting Cora to sleep, thankful for everything they had, everything they had been through, and everything yet to come.


End file.
